Relearning How to Love Healing from Unhealthy Family Dynamics

We are born to love our mother, father, sister, and brother, regardless of how they treat us and treat each other. 

We are programmed that this is love, trust, respect, and security. 

We are programmed that a verbal apology over and over again, or no apology at all, is acceptable, just because we are family; we have to accept and love each other. Just because we are family, we are programmed that every action is not meant, but is rather an act of love. 

We should not be sensitive. We should not express our true feelings. We should not expect family members to own their words and actions. We should not expect family members to take responsibility for their own emotional healing instead of projecting their suppressed feelings and wounds onto us. We should not expect compassion and gratitude for each other, just because we are family; we are programmed to stick to each other, love and accept each other, regardless of how toxic the environment is. We are programmed that a toxic family environment is love and life. 

Then we grow up and start going to school. We attract friendships and teachers who confirm similar toxic relationships, just because we accept it at home and it is the only way we experience love through the family dynamics. 

Then we are teenagers and start having relationships, which continue to confirm and grow that this is love and we accept it because we know nothing else. We believe that this is life. We believe that this is God. We believe that this is our worth and what we deserve on this journey here on earth. 

Then we grow older and go to our jobs, we get married and have our own children and have in-laws and extended family members. We continue to grow and live through toxic relationships and create our own families in similar environments because that is what we were raised to believe is our own worth. 

Our children repeat the cycle. Our grandchildren repeat the cycle and so on until one person decides to break the cycle and heal. Heal from any belief programs and inherited patterns about love, acceptance, trust, respect and security. 

The essence of a healthy foundation of each individual, that begins from the moment of conception. The biological, neurological and epigenetic development of every Soul, from Spirit to a physical, mental and emotional body. 

When we begin to heal, we begin to feel what love truly is, Divine Unconditional love, which becomes the light that guides us back home. 

When we begin to heal, we pick up along the path of love, all the pieces of the True Self, that were hidden and suppressed in the dark Shadow Self, Soul Realignment, Cosmic Realignment, becoming One with the Divine and Mother Earth again. 

When we begin to heal, we begin to feel and embrace the lessons, and forgive every moment and every person who made us believe and grow through the “Wounded Love”, and we return to the purity, abundance, beauty and innocence of love, the Divine Love.We cannot find love outside as long as we do not go inside, grieve and reclaim it through our mind, heart, body and Soul, through all space, dimensions, lineages and time. 

We focus on nurturing and parenting our own inner child and allow ourselves to be reborn as the True Self, the Self who has chosen every person and every experience on a Soul level to return to love, with gratitude. 

We return to love and let go of any dynamics where love is not welcome, we continue to walk the path of love, for this is the only real path, for this is the Divine Union, Sacred Union, the return home.


Shamanic Healer. Spiritual Teacher, Writer, Speaker and Founder of Sarah Foundation. She uses different therapeutic methods to support men and women during their healing process, return to love, reclaim their power and wisdom and live their Truth. She is specialized in Trauma, Grief, WombHealing and Sexuality. Also facilitate women healing circles, Sacred Union circles (men & women), workshops and retreats.

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