Dear Single Mom,
You’re my friend, you’re my sister, you are everywhere around me. I feel how heavy your responsibility is and I want to salute you. I also want to be there for you when you choose to marry or commit again because I have seen how much scrutiny moms who choose to get re-married are subjected to.
The law is not on your side and I genuinely hope that changes soon. In actuality, the issue isn’t legal at all. I mean, let the better parent care for the child. When they both present their case at court, may the best parent win!
However, that takes time and legislation and, as much as I want to babble about laws, I don’t know the first thing about civil laws (except what I learned from watching How to Get Away with Murder).
So, where is the real problem here? It’s in the community, the people. Mainly, how there is so much pressure on women to only try their luck at marriage ONCE. And, if they’re moms, society banishes them to the ground for choosing to remarry.
It is your decision, screw what people have on their minds! I mean, if you have kids, people will tell you not to remarry so you can “properly” cherish, spend time with, and practically live for them and ONLY them! If you don’t have kids, the same exact society will pressure you to get married, why? To find your other half? NAAAAH! To have kids! It’s all about the kids, after all, you are just the human vessel that carries them right?
Women and moms, you are not a commodity. I stand with you and with your right to get remarried when you choose to. And, if you choose not to marry at all, it is also your decision. But always remember that having children does not mean that you need to forget about yourself altogether. You still exist, you are still whole and you are important. Someone out there feels that you are the best thing that happened in their life so do not let any peer pressure dictate what the next best decision for you is, you do that for yourself girl!
All the women who care for you out there.
Regina Inani is a coach with a focus on career and lifestyle and an HR guru with many years of experience across multinationals and startups. She is addicted to reading and drinks coffee like there is no tomorrow. She’s also a content creator and a mentor.