Being a mother is overwhelming. You have to keep up with every detail about your kid’s life, which puts you at risk of falling into the trap of trying to become the “supermom”. Last December, at TEDxCairo Women, we listened to a selection of astounding talks from a great lineup of amazing women. Dr. Manar Hassan was one of them.Today, we talk to Dr. Manar, Researcher and Family Coach specializing in emotional freedom and psychological balance methods, about the many traps mothers fall into when raising their children.
What are the false approaches Egyptian mothers take with their children?
I realized that children often get annoyed when their mothers compare them to their friends, cousins or siblings. Mothers think that this approach pushes their kids to work harder, however, this highly affects their self-confidence. Another thing mothers fail to do is respect their children’s emotions, which makes the child feel that he/she doesn’t have a voice.
What are the the main tips every mother needs to follow to be able to handle her child’s tantrum?
- Accept that all kids have tantrums; it is very normal.
- Mothers should encourage their children to express themselves, because tantrums occur when the child is constrained.
- Be your child’s role model. You need to show your children how you want them to behave rather than scolding them.
- Maintain eye contact when speaking to your child.
How should mothers react if their child is shy and doesn’t want to greet strangers? Should we push for them to become sociable?
Pushing your child to try something is never a good approach; it highly affects his/her self-esteem. Don’t put your child in uncomfortable situations. Embrace the fact that your child is shy; it’s part of his/her personality.
If your child constantly criticizes you, is there any way to handle it smartly?
Mothers have to teach their children how to be assertive. The child also needs to understand that each household has its own rules. If your child starts comparing you to his/her friend’s mother, you need to sit down with the child and clearly explain what works for you. Keep in mind that your tone should not be judgmental.
What and when are the best ways to introduce God to children?
You can start feeding your child some information about God at the age of two. Find interactive ways to do so. I used a toy with my kids that consisted of a ball that disappears into a box, but the kid is still able to hear it and feel it moving. Don’t force any information on your child; wait for him/her to ask.