There is nothing scarier than being in a relationship and then realizing that your significant other, the light of your life, the apple of your eye… actually stinks. In order to save you the trouble and heartbreak of having to go through this, we have put together a list of signs to make it easier to detect some people’s… ahem, lack of personal hygiene.
We all long for a time when many a rock star kept their untamed, unwashed, untrimmed mane… untouched, neither by comb nor water. Alas, we do not have a time machine and cannot go back to the happy, hippy times of the 1970s. And just because David Gilmour was too rock n’ roll to wash his hair back then, doesn’t mean your love interest can get away with it in the 21st Century. If his hair remains unwashed for over three days, you might want to reconsider that third date.
Keep your eyes on his jeans
Men’s pants nowadays have a tendency to slip ever-so-slightly when they lean forward. Although many dislike this feature in how gentlemen’s trousers are designed in this day and age, it does come in handy and here is why: you can always tell when the last time he changed his undergarments was. We are not asking you to go and have a staring contest with his boxers – that would be ridiculous, now, wouldn’t it? – but it will be easy to notice if you’ve seen the same boxers one too many times in a row, and if that happens, we suggest you RUN!
Feet of course!
Same rule applies here. Feet are a very dangerous zone and one needs to take extra care of them because, due to the nature of their confinement in shoes for long periods of time, they are prone to all kinds of… Fungus. It goes without saying that socks are to be changed at least once a day. If that is not the case, we’ve got some bad news for you…
And his teeth
You don’t always have to find out that your significant other has poor dental hygiene the hard way, when you lean in for a kiss and are faced with an unholy breath that might as well have come from your nightmares. As a matter of fact, you can almost always tell in advance and save yourself the trouble by looking at his teeth. Do they look clean? Believe us, skipping the brush routine for one day will definitely show. And if his teeth don’t look clean, no amount of gum will make a difference.
Did he just fart?
Did my senses deceive me? Nose, have you gone mad? This gentleman could not have just broken wind in my presence! If you have never been in this situation, we hope you never do, but it does happen and some guys think you will not notice as long as they do it quietly. No. You’ll notice. Their silent killers are as deadly as they are silent.
The Wolverine routine
There is no point in denying that rugged men are sexy. If that wasn’t the case then why do women swoon over men like Bruce Willis, Johnny Depp and Norman Reedus? It is because they look like they don’t even look in the mirror before they leave their sexy houses, that’s why! This, however, is no excuse to throw personal hygiene out the window. Having unclipped, dirty nails is not only gross, but is also extremely unhealthy.
Did this designer shirt come with a stain?
This might seem like we are asking you to judge someone by their clothes, but we are not exactly doing that. All we want you to do is to keep an eye on how clean his clothes are. A man with poor hygiene could wear the nicest, most expensive clothes but if he does not care for their cleanliness then he might as well go ahead and wear a potato sack for all we care.
In short, we love men who are rugged, but not dirty; men who do not obsess over their looks but care just enough for them to be healthy.
There isn’t a turnoff bigger than a terrible smell.