How Not To Catch the Early Engagement Disease


In a society where marriage is a social requirement, you would think that it couldn’t get any worse. But the new college-generations are full of surprises, aren’t they?

Lately, an early engagement disease has been spreading faster than cholera ever did. So, it’s no wonder if your college student of a neighbor, who by the way probably only learned pee-control yesterday, is putting a ring on her finger and making commitments only God knows if she can keep.

While that might work for a minority, it definitely doesn’t for the majority.

To abstain from this fever, you have to think about the following:

  • Going from relying on daddy to relying on your husband means that your luggage stands a bigger chance of being independent on the move than you have in a lifetime.

Just when you are supposed to be figuring yourself out, finding your way and getting off daddy’s lap, getting engaged will only put you on another man’s lap. You’ll never get to know yourself without being someone’s daughter, fiancée or wife. And that is even more strings attached.

  • Ready to fight over the million-dollar couch?

We all know that instead of reading college text books, you’ll be skimming through furniture catalogues and arguing with your mother-in-law about what color the curtains should be. Seems like another lifetime brought forward.

  • Think of all the breakfasts, lunches, and dinners you’ll have with your partner for the rest of your lives, then think of topics to talk about during.

So, the “I vow to spend the rest of my life with you” is no joke, is it? Because that’s a lot of days, years and decades. For someone who gave up on having a separate world of her own for a shared one with a partner, there’s not much topics you can actually talk about. And it’s not about keeping a conversation while you enjoy the zillionth meal together. It’s just about you being an established being and it having nothing to do with him. Being in love is one thing, being in life is another. Men can fall in love with your heart, but sooner or later it won’t be enough if they can’t fall in love with your mind, too.

  • How the hell do you know he’s the one?

At a stage of emotional disturbance in your life, how are you supposed to be sure that two years or maybe two minutes from now, someone else won’t barge in and be the perfect match for you? Not so long ago, you were just one high school girl flipping over crushes and picking prom dates. When did the wisdom hit you anyway?

  • Soon enough, you’ll be parenting halfway through being parented.

At a time when you are supposed to be raising pets, you’ll likely be raising babies. If you plan on going through with the wedding while in college, or even the day after graduation, that’ll leave you with either morning sicknesses in boring lectures, or a responsibility that’s much bigger than someone whose most catastrophic problem used to be failing calculus. It’s too soon to be screwing the next generation.

  • When regret punches you in the face.

Years from that decision, you’ll realize that your life paid the family’s and kids’ bills. You won’t recognize yourself outside of your family and you will start losing the energy to do anything for them. You are just not happy, and they are a constant reminder of that. If you think that devoting all your time to your family is better for them, you are wrong. If you are not happy and satisfied with your life, you’ll never be able to offer them anything.

This is to scare you off, because telling you that an early commitment like this will snatch your future away and cancel your masters-plans is probably something you already know. Before you declare yourself as someone’s something, be sure to be yourself’s everything. If women’s rights are snatched and men are constantly trying to break them, at least give him something to be challenged with. Don’t be an easy break.

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