There are very few things in life more annoying than when your mother tells you she brought you a “3arees”. This will happen to any Egyptian girl, despite the fact that they have probably said they don’t want to commit now, or even if you have a boyfriend! Your mother’s 3ersaan will still come rolling in. Here are some creative, and very doable, tricks to get rid of El 3arees.
Silent Treatment
Do not utter one, single word, even if a question is directed at you, just look over to your parents, preferably with a scary glare. If something funny is said, don’t laugh. If you can’t help it, give it a shrug of your shoulder. He will either think you’re creepy, or that you’re incredibly shy, either way he is most likely to lose interest.
Play Stupid
We all hate doing this, but it works! Pretend like you don’t know what’s going on and that you’re not aware of the fact that he is a suitor for you.
“Look as terrible as you can without it being too obvious. Don’t get your hair done, don’t groom your eyebrows, wear a t-shirt and jeans and not a drop of makeup.”
Introduce a Friend
There comes a point in this awkward evening, when the parents will oh so slyly let you two sit alone for a while to get to “know each other”. This is when you mention how perfect he is for your friend Sarah. You go on and on about how great they can be together, and even try to set him up on a date with her.
Not so well behaved
Forget all the manners you have learnt in your life. Eat with your mouth open, interrupt him while he speaks and even roll your eyes every now and then. Not only will this be a turn off for him, it will also get his parents thinking twice, and get your parents thinking twice before they introduce you to a 3arees. Extra points for having a friend call you, picking up the phone and having a half hour conversation.
“Have the most ridiculous, out-of-this-world requests! Pretend to be the most high maintenance woman in the country.”
Don’t Look your Best
Actually, look as terrible as you can without it being too obvious. Don’t get your hair done, don’t groom your eyebrows, wear a t-shirt and jeans and not a drop of makeup. While appearances shouldn’t matter, in an arranged marriage it’s all that people rely on for judgment. This will also show your 3arees that you don’t really care about this entire setup.
A No-Show
Your mother will tell you to come home early from work that day to prepare yourself because they are coming for tea at 7. This is the day you have a crisis at work and can’t make it out of the office. He can’t like you if he never sees you right? For dramatic effect, show up when he can still be there, at around 8, and act exhausted. Most Egyptian men would scratch you off their list if your job is capable of keeping you that busy.
Hey Big Spender!
Have the most ridiculous, out-of-this-world requests! Pretend to be the most high maintenance woman in the country. Let it be all the cars you have to have, the replica of Kim Kardashian’s ring that you are expecting, or the monthly trips to London, Paris and Milan for your shopping. This will have him running out the door in no time.
“If all else fails, cry!”
Get the Waterworks Going
If all else fails, cry! We know this is not easy and not many of us can cry on command like that, but this is a foolproof idea. Try to look like an emotional, unstable hot mess and don’t stop sobbing your heart out. He will start realizing how upset and/or crazy you are and back off.
Use Logic
If you end up sitting down with a reasonable man, talk to him and tell him that you don’t want this awkward evening to continue. Reasoning with the man and telling him that you either don’t want to get married or are already in a relationship might work with some people.
