It goes without saying that ambition defines a man and sets him apart amongst his peers. We live in a fast-paced competitive society that does not cut any slack for time wasted or full-time daydreaming when it comes to career and professional life. Every woman out there wants her partner to be ambitious, to be a success story, to be a sturdy shoulder to rely on. And there are ways with which each one of you can tell if her guy is really ambitious or not. The most important thing to mind is not to ignore the signs because what is more heartbreaking than failure, is seeing the failure coming and wishing otherwise will happen.
Let’s first agree that there isn’t one universal agreement on what defines as “ambition”. Some ambitious artists make zero income and some glorious inherits make money without moving a finger. It is important to admit that success is not always about money! Yes, sometimes certain financial gains can act as an easy index to measure someone’s professional successes. But for some professionals out there, their talent is not directly proportional to their market worth. Either way you decide to define “ambition”, there are 10 ways with which you can know for sure if your guy is ambitious or not:
He has a vision: it really breaks my heart when I interview fresh grads and I realize from the conversation that they have no clue what their vision for their career is. They have probably made decisions in the past by eliminating the areas that they did not want to explore and taking the one path that was left at the end. This is a “no, no!”
He wants to reach his full potential: a mistake that a lot of ladies do is that they fall in love with the ultimate potential of their partner; not their actual potential. The fact that you believe that your guy can make it to president, does not mean that he is willing to exert the necessary effort for it. So, be realistic! Make sure that your partner is true to what he believes in and is willing to go the extra mile to achieve his dreams.
He isn’t afraid of failure: being afraid of failure is way worse than failure itself. Because those who are afraid of failure spend their lifetime not trying so much and sticking to their comfort zone. They know that within the walls of what they define as “predictable” or “ordinary”, they are less likely to face any obstacles.
He walks the walk: we live in a society in which everyone is really good at “talking the talk”, but when it comes to putting words into action, we realize that it was all “wishful thinking”. Ambitious people don’t brag about their ideas, but most of the time they act.Watch your partner as he stays true to his values and actually applies what he is saying to what he is doing. If he doesn’t, then moving on will be a decent idea!
Don’t be fooled by geeks: being “book smart” is one thing and having the necessary intelligence to hit the job market or start a business is something else. So if your guy is the top of his class with straight As and a great degree, that does not necessarily mean that he can make it in the dynamic aggressive professional world we live in nowadays. Curriculum theory is one thing and putting effort into making it as a professional is another.
Being self-motivated: as we enter the professional world, nobody holds our hand anymore. The good old information spoon-feeding of information and holding hands for guidance by professors and family no longer does the trick! One has to be self-motivated and eager to get somewhere decent with his career footsteps. Having this drive is also important to try again if he fails, not give up and whine about unfulfilled dreams. The fire that drives success needs to stay hot, to be able to stand up and try again when things seem to be falling apart.
High self-esteem: we live in an extremely judgmental society that hardly ever cuts us any slack. To make it in this world, we need to have a high sense of self-esteem so we drive our own success instead of waiting for others to “approve” of what we are trying to accomplish. Your partner needs to be able to live without people’s “consent” of what he is trying to achieve. So, being an engineering graduate does not mean he cannot seek a career in marketing if he has what it takes, people’s “approval” of this dream should not mean much to him.
Continuous improvement: there will never be a point in time in which we will be “Secure enough”, “successful enough” or “satisfied enough”. Not because we, as professional individuals are impossible to please, but because we can always do better! Your guy needs to know this by heart. He needs to be able to do regular checks on where he wants to be and where he is right now to understand the gaps and the areas for improvement he needs to work on.
Be realistic: the sky is not the limit; your partner’s talent is the limit. I have been in professional conversations with individuals who thought too highly of themselves that they were under the impression they can achieve so much in a certain field when they obviously did not have what it takes for it! Observe your guy very carefully, does he really have what it takes to accomplish the dreams he is talking about? Or is he living in a surreal world not being true to his potential?
Staying ethical: the end never justifies the means! Wanting to reach a certain status or achieve a certain goal does not mean that he can get off bribing or stealing in the process! He needs to stay “clean” because you don’t want to live in a world in which good things are built on bad things!
You now have the kit you need to be able to assess your partner’s ambition, use it carefully! Don’t become too judgment and critical and make sure you stay positive and encourage him if he is really aligned with the above points. Always remember that it is not easy to make it in today’s professional world and everyone deserves a chance if they have what it takes.
