Your Sexual Cycle During Pregnancy: The Myths, the Desire & the Positions!

The Myths:

 Once you are pregnant you here a lot of myths about what you should and should not avoid. I will mention few of them. The first trimester (3 months) myths: you need complete rest, it is completely forbidden to do any sports as you may miscarry the baby. Obviously you are not allowed to have sex, as it may cause bleeding and miscarriage early in pregnancy, infection and damage to the baby’s head in the last few months, so you may as well just avoid the whole pregnancy. You are not allowed to die your hair, wear make up, use lotions and creams and if you really want to play it safe then please avoid using shampoo. It doesn’t matter if you feel or look horrible it’s all for the sake of the baby. Hot drinks are very dangerous not only that they cause miscarriage but can sometimes burn the baby. Avoid cinnamon not only as a drink but even during cooking as minute amounts are extremely dangerous. Coffee and tea can cause severe abnormalities for the baby, so better avoid as well. Take it easy when tossing in the bed as this will curl the umbilical cord around the neck of the baby which will kill the baby, so once spotted on the ultrasound you should rush to the hospital to have an immediate caesarean section to save the day! If your urine results show that you are losing proteins then for obvious reasons stay away from eggs, they can be extremely dangerous. All pain killers are unsafe even the ones your obstetrician prescribed better to have many sleepless nights with back ache rather than those dangerous medications. Please do avoid taking calcium in the last few months of pregnancy as it will make baby’s head grow significantly thus preventing normal delivery. There are many other false fixed believes, which are very difficult to change but hopefully with proper counseling people can become at least reasonable.

In this article I will concentrate on sex during pregnancy and whether it is safe to continue having sex. Most women who are having a normal pregnancy may continue to have sex right up until their water breaks or they go into labor. You won’t hurt the baby by making love. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus protect your baby, and the thick mucus plug that seals the cervix helps guard against infection. And while orgasms may cause mild uterine contractions (as can nipple stimulation and the prostaglandins in semen), they are generally temporary and harmless. 


When to avoid sex

There are some circumstances, though, in which you may need to modify your activity or abstain from sex altogether for part or all of your pregnancy. The obstetrician looking after you will tell when it is not allowed; your doctor has advised against it, you have a history of premature birth or labor, low lying placenta (where part of the placenta is covering the cervix), your water has broken, you are currently experiencing bleeding and if you or your partner has an active sexually transmitted disease.


Sexual desire

Many women report that sex feels different during pregnancy. Some find it more pleasurable, at least at times. Others may generally find it less so, for part or all of the pregnancy.

Increased blood flow to the pelvic area can cause engorgement of the genitals. The heightened sensation that results may add to your pleasure during sex. You may have more vaginal discharge or moistness, which could also be a plus. On the other hand, you may not like how these changes feel and may find that genital engorgement gives you an uncomfortable feeling of fullness. And, as mentioned above, you may also feel some mild abdominal cramps or contractions during or immediately after intercourse or orgasm.

Your breasts may feel tingly, tender, and unusually sensitive to touch, particularly in the first trimester. The tenderness generally subsides, but your breasts may remain more sensitive. Some women will find this heightened sensitivity to be a turn-on, while others won’t (and may even prefer that their breasts not be touched at all). Let your husband know if anything feels uncomfortable, even if it’s something you are used to doing together. If you find you’re feeling turned on but not enjoying intercourse, consider other erotic activities, such as mutual pleasuring. Experiment and make adjustments as a couple to make sex relaxing and pleasurable for both of you.

Remember, too, that there’s more to physical intimacy than sex. If you don’t feel like having sex or your practitioner has advised you not to, you can still hug, kiss, and caress each other. There’s a wide range of individual experiences when it comes to sexual desire during pregnancy. Some women have a heightened libido throughout pregnancy, while others find they are less interested in sex. Many women find that their sexual appetite fluctuates, perhaps depending on how they are otherwise feeling physically and emotionally. You may feel too tired, moody or nauseated to make love, especially in the first trimester. It’s not unusual to feel overwhelmed by the physical and emotional changes you’re going through. But take heart, you may find that your libido returns in the second trimester after morning sickness and fatigue have eased up.

It’s also not uncommon, however, for desire to wane again in the third trimester, particularly in the last month or two. At this point, you may be too big, achy, or exhausted to make love comfortably. You may feel self-conscious about how your body has changed or preoccupied with the approach of labor and birth.

Let your partner know how you feel and reassure him that you still love him. It’s crucial to keep the lines of communication open and to support each other as best you can as you go through these changes together.


Sex positions

There are many sex positions that are more comfortable as you expand. These include: Woman on top, which allows you to control the depth of penetration, and the majority of the movement. You can go as fast or as slow as you’d like, while controlling the depth of the penis. This position works really well throughout pregnancy and at the very end of pregnancy. Another position is called spooning.  It gets its name from the way spoons fit together in the silver ware drawer. Usually, it is best if the man is behind allowing his penis to go between your thighs and enter you from behind. This creates no pressure on the abdomen, and allows for a shallow penetration. Many women find this a very relaxing position for sex during pregnancy and it can be used throughout. Hands & knees, this is a very good position for pregnant women again because of the lack of direct pressure on the abdomen, although as your get larger your belly may actually rest on the bed. Some women find this difficult at the very end of pregnancy, depending on how high they are able to hold their belly off the bed and still allow for penetration. Finally side lying, which can be kind of tricky, but it can be done! Lay on your side with your husband facing you, try pulling one leg up to allow room for your husband. This may get tiring after awhile, and may not be easy for the last part of pregnancy.

All of the above mentioned positions also allow for manual stimulation of the clitoris either by yourself or your partner. This can greatly increase your chances of becoming multi-orgasmic, not to mention it’s a lot of fun. They also prevent the mother from lying on her back, which is not recommended after the fourth month of pregnancy (16 weeks gestation).

When you’re trying to think of a good position, try it, if it doesn’t work stop. Creativity will be a lot of fun during pregnancy, and it will probably carry over into your postpartum sex life as well, when creativity becomes important in a different way.


Orgasms and Pregnancy

Orgasms can be much different during pregnancy. Some women will finally become orgasmic during pregnancy due to the increased fluids in the area making the clitoris and vagina more sensitive. Other women will become multi-orgasmic for the first time.

In general, orgasms are very good for you and baby! When you have an orgasm the baby is unaware of what you are doing, but does experience the euphoric hormone rush that you will experience. There will also be minor contractions of the uterus, as there have always been, but now that the uterus is bigger you can feel them more. This is not preterm labor, unless you have this cramping sensation or contractions for more than one hour. The big problem with orgasms during pregnancy is that, particularly at the end, you may not get quite the sense of relief that a normal orgasm would provide. 

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