Are you single? And if you are… do you think it’s just too bad?
Do you feel a little bit envious every time you watch a super romantic movie? Is it the case that you dread the second dance at your friends’ weddings, because you don’t have a partner to dance with? And hate to see the red hearts everywhere on Valentines Day because you spend it out with your girlfriends, if you dare go out at all? Does the thought of ending up on your own seem as the worst thing that could happen to you?
Well, it’s not!
I agree that Prince Charming is every girl’s dream; he’s strong, he’s handsome and he’s charismatic. He’s got it all. He’s Mr. Right. He’s the best.
But does he really exist?
What happens is that we could settle for someone who, according to us, is ‘close’ to perfection. One who has flaws that are tolerable to us; so that if his looks are average and we’re not that much into looks; we could look up to his wits, accept him and even love him for who he is.
So where is the line between flaws that are okay, and those who are just too terrible to bear? What could be some of the traits that if someone possesses them, he’d be a major turn off to some of us; to the extent that we would prefer being single over being in a relationship at all?
After talking to some of my girlfriends and recent acquaintances, I got to know a long list of unbearable flaws that could turn them off. They could seem simple to some, and even most, of us… but to them they are just a major NO!
Let’s talk about looks.
They’re definitely not everything; but the first thing we see and base our first impressions upon when we meet someone new.
Weight seems to be a major factor. Being overweight or too skinny are both concerns and even turnoffs according to a huge number of girls. "I’d never get into a relationship with a guy who is fat" says Moni. On the other hand Nisreen, who just got married, would fight with her husband if he tries to lose weight. "I love him as chubby as he is now. It’s just who he’s been since I first knew him" she says.
In addition to this, Dina adds that the only physical feature she’d object to is guys who have fat in their chest area. "Who would like that? It’s just too disgusting and too feminine" says Sarah.
"Ears! It’s all about the ears" says Nour. "I hate it if a guy’s ear is too protruded. It seriously distracts me and makes me unable to look at the guy’s face". Heba totally agrees adding that she turned a guy down once before because his ears looked just too weird. "I know it’s terrible but I didn’t even give it a chance to get to know him nor were able to take him seriously. His ears made him look like a cartoon character" she adds.
"A guy with an enormously big mouth turns me off" says Moni adding that it’s even more disastrous if he has ugly teeth"
"If a guy’s nails are long, dirty or obviously long AND dirty… My head gives the TOTAL NO signal immediately "says Dalia.
Moving on from the fat, the ears, the mouth and the hands… Hygiene turns out to be extremely important to most of us.
Salma says "I’d never get into a relationship with a guy who has bath issues… Body Odor is a major turn off". "My number one unbearable flaw is a guy who’s unclean" adds Aya.
Let’s Judge the Personality; it lasts longer than the looks
After forming your first impression; based on the looks, the smile and the attitude… you get to know him better and find out where he stands in different aspects of personality; including honesty, jealousy, masculinity, generosity and much more.
"Liars" is the number one answer I got whenever I asked a girl what she’d hate most in a guy. "It makes my life miserable if the guy is used to lying" says Salma.
"I can never be with a guy who is stingy" agreed Dina, Sarah and Azza. "I can never commit to a guy who is not generous with me when it comes to money… this is a very obvious prediction of how he would be with his emotions" says Nada.
"I would never be with a guy who’s insecure" says Nermeen, adding that her number one reason for being with a guy is to make her feel safe and secure, so if he himself is not then the relationship is not worth going through in the first place.
"Stuck up guys make me want to shoot them" agreed Nour and Maryam.
Let’s Analyze the Actions; they say a lot!
Most of us are able to hide sides of our real personality and feelings. We could pretend to love our partners’ close girl friends (just friends) and act as if we’re happy in our parents’ friends’ endless parties- all hidden till our partner overhears us badmouthing his friends to our best friend on the phone or our mom’s friends notice that we spend most of the night in their bathroom so we’d stay away from the boredom. Men could do the same; pretend to be what they’re not and nothing reveals reality but their actions.
In my freshman year in college, I used to think this guy was really cute. He was popular, athletic and really hot- at first. One day, I was talking to his friend when I was struck by the way he chews gum; I could feel it that if I got any millimeter closer I would hear its sound. Since then, I got completely turned off… And till this day, whenever I see any of my guy friends doing the same; I grab the closest tray and ask them to throw their chewing gum away or to just stop talking to me till they do. "We hate it when girls do that, so if it’s guys who are it is catastrophic" agrees Heba.
To my surprise, removing extra eyebrow hair turned out to be really widespread in
"It must be guys who ‘do’ their eyebrows" was Jasmine’s unhesitant comment when asked what she’d hate most. "I know that most of the celebrities need to do it to look glowing on camera, but it’s just too feminine" she adds.
I hate it when I see a man crossing the street with his girlfriend or wife, and he lets her walk on the direction of cars, it could mean he’s not protective enough… or he’s just trying to get rid of her.
"I find it ridiculous if a man is always too lazy to drive, so he either makes his girlfriend pass by him and he just sits in the seat next to her all the time… it’s a sign for his lack of concern" says Noha who says she’s experienced this before and the sign was actually right.
"Me and my ex fiancé had serious problems all the time because of his obsession with PlayStation … it happened a lot that I needed him and he just preferred to be home with his guys playing their favorite games… it was ugly that even if we went out with his friends, all they talked about was who mastered the game and who was always losing" says May.
Whether it’s his looks, personality or actions; make sure that the flaws are acceptable to you; ones that you could eventually get used to and would never be a big deal…
… And till you find him, trust me even if you hate being single; but single-hood is the least of two evils.