The meanings of the word ‘virginity’ are abundant, both physical and metaphorical.But it seems that the majority of us are focused on only one of those meanings; namely a woman having an intact hymen. It is commonly – and wrongly – understood that an intact hymen is an indicator of good morals the likes of innocence and honesty.
Well, I hate to burst your bubble (actually, I don’t) but it is SO not.
“We need to get our science straight, and our morals even straighter. Stop looking for virginity and start looking for ethics and integrity instead.”
A hymen is no more an indicator of morals than glasses are an indicator of intelligence or a veil is an indicator of modesty. There are no indicators of morals except morals, and those can only be uncovered through one-on-one interactions and experiences.
Having an intact hymen does not mean a woman has not had any sexual experience. And you know what? Having sexual experience does not mean that a woman (or a man for that matter) has no morals. This is like trying to measure the weight of something using a ruler. It’s just the wrong tool to use and it will never give you the measurement you’re seeking.
“A hymen is no more an indicator of morals than glasses are an indicator of intelligence or a veil is an indicator of modesty.”
What weighs my heart down even more is that women cam be more judgmental in this matter than men. A woman will instantly label another woman with premarital sexual experiences as a hell-worthy, subhuman creature who must be shunned, stoned and shamed. It doesn’t matter that this ‘creature’ is honest or a hard worker or a charity giver or a good daughter or a supportive friend or has countless other indicators of morality. No. If she doesn’t have a hymen, she’s simply not worthy.
Yes, it is our culture and, yes, it’s part of our religions. But as far as culture is concerned, it has been proven time and again that the use of one’s head is far more effective. Take female genital mutilation as an example. Isn’t that part of our culture? Isn’t it so deeply rooted in our heritage that it’s common to horrific extents? Does that mean it’s right? If you’re a woman, have you been genitally mutilated as a child? How does that make you feel now? Would you do it to your own daughter? I can go on and I can give more examples, but I’ll leave that to the use of your own head.
“It indicates nothing because there are even cases where vaginas are fully penetrated and a hymen remains intact.”
As for religion, well, that’s between the woman and her God and it is so none of our business that merely thinking about it should be shameful.
Virginity is not and never will be anything more than a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It indicates nothing because there are even cases where vaginas are fully penetrated and a hymen remains intact.
We need to get our science straight, and our morals even straighter. Stop looking for virginity and start looking for ethics and integrity instead. Please.
It’s all in my head is a series of thoughts and opinions that our very own Yusra Badr has written.
“it’s All In My Head” is out now!