Scars heal on their own on the outside, then they leave a mark. A reminder. But, sometimes, scars are not seen on the outside and they also leave a mark. Whatever that mark is, we carry it with us, consciously, and other times, subconsciously. I have always wondered if emotional scars manifest physiologically. Being in the health and fitness field and connecting with friends and clients on that level, gave me some insight into this query. For instance, with regards to posture and body language, I would wonder, are they, in any way, rooted in our present and/or past state of mind? Another point of interest to me is the term “stress eaters” or “stress consumers” in general. Being one myself, at times (or most of the time, if I am being honest), I wonder, what is my relationship with food like? How about my relationship with depressants, such as alcohol or weed? Does that mental relationship of consumption manifest on my physical well-being? My social experiences? What about my relationship with myself? Then I started seeing a pattern emerge, a link between body and mind.
An overweight friend, now actually on the average to slim range, had always been bullied at school for being fat. He chronically slouched forward so his shirt would cover his most unflattering parts. Ten years later, he developed round shoulders, overdeveloped glutes, and tight hamstrings. Over the course of a year, he went from that to having a fine, upright and fit physique, during his twenties. It took his mind as long as four years to believe and assert that he is no longer fat and, therefore, he can stop slouching. This is one tiny example of mental healing. Such examples are various in intensity, depending on the personal trauma. Talk to a psychiatrist ‘privately’, if you think you have, or even want to find out if you have, emotional traumas.
In my opinion, the term healing is, sometimes, misused. From a holistic perspective, the process of healing is natural, ongoing and healthy. Te misuse of it comes when it is used as a tool to make u think you are broken and require [place product/service here] to get fixed. But, if you have ever been to a life coach session, or followed a yogi or Indian guru on Instagram, you have probably heard the term “ancestral healing” as part of the personal healing process. It is not as magical as it sounds. The basic lesson is this; many of our emotional scars are, subconsciously, picked up from our childhood. Imagine a two-year-old repeatedly seeing their parents freak out every time they needed to get into a pool and, as a result, never actually going for a swim in their life. At the age of two or three, parents are basically gods to us. How do you think this behavior affects the child growing up? It is very hard recollecting personal memories from the age of two, I mean last month is already fuzzy enough. So at least consider the possibility that some of your fears and stresses may have been passed down from your parents or even grandparents.
Here is a gentle reminder to de-escalate and breathe. If you are reading this right now, at this very moment, all is fine. At other moments, when external factors trigger suppressed emotional responses and all is no longer fine, take note of those triggers and try to understand why they made you feel that way. Consider, for example, people’s expectations of you, versus what you can actually handle. No matter how much weight you decide to carry on your shoulders, make sure you are not already carrying luggage.
Everyone likes the self-exerted stress, because of the release afterward, and the sense of accomplishment it brings. But if you find yourself trying to depress symptoms, or distract your mind while your body tries to heal, then you may need to direct your attention internally and try to understand the cause of suffering. Healing is both an internal and external process, so give yourself a front-row seat and observe how your wounds turn into personal scars. Only when you start observing your emotional responses through reflection without judgment, will you understand the healing process.