Morning comes and when I wake I move and stand and look for my man. He looks at me and smiles. We go to a room. It is bright from the incandescence of his smile and I can feel his masculine scent inexcusably carving into me like painted ivory. We separate. He says good bye and walks out. I follow him with my eyes and he goes one way and I go another. Each step after that is a step that brings us closer to home. His sounds are just sounds, but bring love with unconfined wings. We are sitting on the couch. We are holding hands and I have freedom in my love and my soul is free.
It would be this stuff of romantic cliché to say that, we like and appreciate all the endowment they bring to our life as women; and all the other über-passionate men rolled into one!
Unfortunately, I do not count the overt romantic type the norm. That is the truth of the matter. There were teenage girls, grown women and mothers who found it hard to recall things they like about men. I tend to agree but I looked for a sense of purpose- to dodge my bad experiences or run away from the real me. After all, there are many good men.
If men give us love and security… if they play merely this role, then they will be our veritable knights in shining armor! On the other hand, I hate men who are dishonest and who turn promises into lies, who think they can get away with whatever they do and who give grades and scores on women like the football match they watch on a Friday night. They will be appalled to know their score! I also hate that we need men.
As a bleeding-heart optimist I asked my friends, from the renowned and hopefully never tarnished facebook, about things they like and hate in men. As a result, I see that the relationship between men and women has always been a love hate relationship. From the time God created earth, to the sweet docile women of the 50’s and today’s independent, business oriented women of this century- we always had an inborn urge to emotionally integrate.
“I like our Egyptian men because they invite us whenever we go out. The adage says, “
“I like a man who is honest, dependable and gentle. I also like a man who takes my feelings and thoughts seriously. I loathe stereotypes like “Roushdy Abaza, our doted upon Egyptian actor, because they are womanizers with a string of past affairs, as I believe they will never be trustworthy or trustful of women. I hate the domineering type and the type that you can’t think without me protagonist.” Mai.
“I like men who are protective to the ones they love and who value the institute of marriage. I would say that most of them are hypocrites, endearing and lovable in the beginning and demanding in the end; discreet about their emotions in public and never view us as a human being. We are only an object to them. When they need good hot food- we are a microwave, for house cleaning- a vacuum cleaner and for good times- we must be pretty and hot.” Mona.
“What I like about men is their strength and courage, every girl would like to marry a strong man to protect her and make her feel safe. Men, what can we do without them! I hate men who think they are superior just because of their gender. I hate that they always hold the TV remote control oblivious to what we need to watch. They are always inclined to confirm that they are in control of everything. They might also have a double life- before and after marriage.” Rania.
“I like men because they are funnier than women. They are also more mind-disciplined. What I really hate about men is that they only consider our looks, and don’t give a damn about our mind and character. Men are also more selfish than us and I can’t bear when a man’s ego gets in the way of saying I am sorry.” Reem.
“What I like is when men are caring, warm and tender. I appreciate men who are responsible and who are willing to devote their life for their other half. I also like religious men because they respect themselves and others. I would go for the successful and ambitious type. Men are selfish. You can rarely find someone who is not, someone who does not take a woman for granted and the sacrifices she makes in a relationship. I hate men who are irresponsible and untruthful or misleading to their partners; men justify things for themselves only and make a lot of rights and excuses.” Walaa.
“Without them we can’t get children! I like them because they are supposed to be our source of security and stability. Men assume that they are superior and must be obeyed even if they are wrong. They think that a woman must be responsible for the house, the work and kids… how can we do all that together?” Hoda.
“I love a man whose strength is in kindness and tenderness… a man who fills his partner with warmth, passion and security of unconditional love. I detest a man who hides his weaknesses and insecurities by aggressiveness or who achieves his sense of superiority by demeaning her.” Ingy.
“I like men who are not afraid of staying at home and who are careful and prudent in their decisions. I also like the generous ones, and definitely, the cute and sincere! I hate selfish, conventional and unfaithful men. I think most men are selfish by the way.” Fadwa.
“I am completely disillusioned in men because of the dream I had in my childhood and teenage days. I still have the vision of a man responsible for his words or actions, with sense of honor and self-respect, who cares for his family and friends and who has an inherent self-sacrifice for their happiness and security. I hate men because they aren’t close to my dream! Nevertheless, some knights still prevail.” Shaimaa.
“What I like about men is that they can carry heavy bags, babies…you name it. His protection to you seems endless, even if he is 15 years old! We are all familiar with the agony of self-centered men; everything has to go their way or nothing at all. I hate men who deal with women as if they were their private property, and not an equal human being; men with 95% of their thoughts, talks and jokes are about sex or football.”
“I like men who accept and honor responsibility, who relish their family and put them on top of their lists. Men must be very caring, romantic and take care of the little details that make a woman happy. Most women respect men who are ambitious, self-driven and dependable. It means the world if a man is strong in mind, weak in love and intact in relationships. I hate men who are careless or thoughtless, who lack determination and direction, who cheat and are not trust-worthy and who dominate just for the sake of their inferiority complex. I can’t take men who put family in second or third stands, and who are too logical, too blunt or too serious.” Maha.
“I love the fact that some men have big hearts. We can’t live without them because they provide us with an incontestable sense of security. I hate the fact that men are more big-sized than us!” Rasha.
“I like the pampering gentle- man attitude at the beginning of a relation and his sole goal of luring you. A man who takes some of your daily routine tasks just to place a smile on your face.I hate it when he underestimates my smartness, acting as if he is the only one with brains and counts all the good things that he has done to me just to make me feel that I owe him much. It can be very difficult when he adopts the snobby attitude of ‘I know it all’.” Yomna.
“I like the warm embrace at the end of a long hard day. I like men like Omar El Sherif, Roushdy Abaza and Johnny Depp (a sigh). I hate when they think of themselves as God’s only gift to humankind.” Nelly.
“There is nothing to like anymore. They lie, brag, flirt and need food 24/7. Men are selfish, non appreciative and think that their only responsibility is in monetary terms.” Eman.
“Looks elite, but not handsome. Tall man. Mature mind. Good potential, not necessary rich. Known for his high principles and values in life. A man who starts from nothing and achieves something. A little giving and happy to take responsibility. Speaks the truth. Punctual. Loves his home and kids. A man who is not afraid to admit he is wrong. A man who believes happiness comes from simple things. A man who reveals his true self before marriage. A man who respects the privacy of his wife as she wishes. A man who aims to do his best at everything. A man with a sense of humor. I dislike men with low self esteem, who are aggressive and controlling and are always anxious. Men who are never satisfied; there is emptiness that is only filled with material things. Addictive personalities to drugs like alcohol- food, cigarettes, tea and sex- always after retail therapy and always on the move. Computer addicts. Wife abusive, physically and mentally. Hazy man, always unemployed, work shy. Compulsive liar. Oversensitive. Bullying his wife or others. Mummy’s boy. A man who thinks he is always right. Puts blame on others. Atheist- no religion. Cannot stay in the house. A man who always forgets. A man who makes excuses.” Mary/
I’m struck with the sense of how similar all women opinions are, young or old and married or unmarried- as the women were not homogenous in their circumstances.
Perhaps, we will find a way to deal with our struggles and differences with men or be proud to accept their bad and good qualities. To be continued …