I am a proud Egyptian. I am proud of my country despite its problems, despite the challenge it is facing. I am also proud of my ancestry, my heritage and my people. Having said that, I cannot help but notice the difference between young men in Egypt today- my friends, my colleagues, and the older Egyptian male generation- such as my father, my uncles and their male friends. A young gentleman today would seem different, maybe cooler, more open to the world, have a sense of humor, outgoing and someone generally fun to be with. But, when conflict erupts, or the going gets tough, as the saying says, you find this charming gentleman, shying out from responsibility, looking for an easy way out and often throwing it on someone else to handle, often the wife. If we look at how Egyptian men are raised versus how Egyptian women are raised – we will be able to see why males shed responsibility while women bear the responsibility for the “ship” to sail on.
Children
Due to the fact that we are a Middle Eastern culture, baby boys are generally more welcome than baby girls. The happiness with which the boy is received is double that of a girl. As a result, the baby boy is pampered and protected significantly more than the girl. Baby girls while thought of as a cute, and culturally considered to bring “goodness” into the house, they are thought of to be a burden until she is set off to be married, at which she becomes the responsibility of her husband. The girl is taught to be obedient and subservient, while the boy is encouraged to express himself and applauded for the slightest effort he makes.
Teenagers
With teenagers the chains are tightened around the girls who are taught to conform to the rules even more. Meanwhile, the concern for the boys is more of a concern for their personal safety rather than morally educating them- the priority is for the boy to be alive and healthy versus, being a good well behaved boy. In terms of studying, we generally find the girls are more academic than the males, since there options for outings and their curfews restrict the amount of time they spend outside the house. The girls are more geared to studying, learning to do housework and be at the aid of her parents more than the boys who are generally playing out with friends.
“The girl is taught to be obedient and subservient, while the boy is encouraged to express himself and applauded for the slightest effort he makes.”
In University
The girls are educated to have targets and goals in mind- such as finish college with good grades, take care of your health, appearance and your reputation, so that when you graduate you get married and have kids. The men on the other hand, while being aware that they need to graduate from college, they are generally more concerned with establishing themselves as a “male” rather than academic success. One of the things that will satisfy the self-esteem and reinforce the image as a male is to get to know girls and have relationships with them.
At Work
Well at work, we see the women competing generally aggressively trying to climb the corporate ladder and trying to achieve. Males on the other hand, try to put the minimum effort and expect to receive the same pampering they received at home, and from the girls they met in their young lives at school. Meanwhile, they still expect to climb the corporate ladder and succeed at work, partly because they feel it is a given right, since they are males, hence they take priority over any competing female at work. They find it hard to admit mistakes and usually act evasive when confronted with them.
“The men on the other hand, while being aware that they need to graduate from college, they are generally more concerned with establishing themselves as a “male” rather than academic success.”
In Marriage
The husband is expected to become king in his empire, which is totally fine. This is fine, if the king does fulfill his duties and his share in household responsibilities ranging from finances to all the manly chores that are to be done. But, why put more effort, when you can put in less? For example, if a male is married to a wife who seems capable, whether at handling strangers, fixing stuff at home, or is even richer than he is, he would often let his wife finish most of the tasks. The justification is usually that he is busy and has no time. The response of today’s women is one of two- either roll up her sleeves and finish the tasks herself (a very common response), or tell him she has no clue how to do the errands, so that she does not get him accustomed to relying on her to finish everything. The second reaction is how women today respond to men not taking responsibilities seriously. Women know upfront that men are spoilt, and would exploit their abilities to multitask and handle a variety of issues, which had the women taken care of, would be taken for granted by the male, hence not appreciated.
“Egyptian women seriously deserve more appreciation for they are expected to be mothers, career women, friends, lovers and manage a household all at the same time.”
Parenthood
Well, from the moment a woman knows she is pregnant, it is a known fact who will be changing diapers, and who will be awake at night when the baby cries; the mother. The father will always be there to pay the bills, but individual attention to the baby, baby sitting, feeding and trying to sooth a crying baby is the responsibility of the mother. This is the natural course of things; there is no discussion about that. However, if the mother is working, and the husband relies to a large extent on his wife’s salary or financial contribution towards household expenses, then it is not fair that the father does not help in the parenting of the baby.
Now having said all that, Egyptian women seriously deserve more appreciation for they are expected to be mothers, career women, friends, lovers and manage a household all at the same time. Plus, they are required to excel in all these roles, while carrying on the responsibility of themselves, their children and top that with their often irresponsible husbands.
Disclaimer: Not all Egyptian men are like that, this article describes a reoccurring trend and behavior in our society, but it is not the rule, for Egypt, has been, and will always be, the source of successful, honorable, amazing and fully responsible men.
