The Good, the Ugly and the ‘in Love’

” I don’t understand how someone like him could be in love with someone like her!” announced, my childhood friend Sally as we sat watching the adorable couple play with their 3 year old son in the playground of our sports club. He was encouraging his son to swing higher while he held his wife’s hand. We agreed that the husband was far more attractive than the wife but the fact that he seemed so smitten was endearing.

“Looks aren’t everything”, I replied with a mouth full of Arabieta fried potato sandwich and thinking about the 5 kilos I was always desperate to lose. “They are married. They have to see each other every single day and so there must be something special about her that makes him want to be with her.”

Sally gave me a dirty look. It was obvious she didn’t agree.

I may have sounded a bit idealistic but deep down I knew that I was right. Pretty girls got attention but keeping it is a whole different ball game. Sally is the type of girl most men fantasize about. She is tall,toned, tanned and has long silky hair that runs down to her waist. She is however single and cannot for the life of her understand why on earth that is.

I had a few theories though. While Sally had no issues meeting plenty of men and charming them for a while, she quickly transformed afterwards. She always had her guard up and suspiciously awaiting ‘The Flaw’. She constantly anticipated something to go wrong with the relationship and eventually something did. She created unnecessary drama and became difficult to be with.

Accordingly, the initial thrill of being with her died away as quickly as it began. Still I did have to agree with her on one point and that was it was that initial physical attraction that got couples together in the first place. The disagreement between us was on what stipulated as physical attraction.

She believed that good-looking people belonged together whereas I thought that different people are attracted to different things regardless of how they look. For example some men are attracted to women with dimples, a Madonna like gap between the teeth, an infectious laugh or pretty feet. Strange? But oh so true.

Take a look at anyone’s past girlfriends and you might be able to trace a certain pattern.  Still if Mr. Perfect falls for the unattractive girl that Sally believed that he shouldn’t have, he was just as likely to bolt out of the relationship if she wasn’t that wonderful to be with.

Some women think that they need to be compliant to everything their man wants from a relationship but that is also another urban myth. Men, just like women are looking for happiness and what better way to achieve that than to be with someone who is happy?

Happy women are the ones who don’t fret about where they are going out, aren’t jealous of every other female he comes in contact with and is generally satisfied with herself and her life. Happy men are not too far off either.

When I like to think of a genuinely happy pair, one particular couple comes to mind. She may be several years older to him and far less attractive but her charisma is disarming. She lives in her own unique world, never disgruntled of what people think of her or her marriage. She is an advocate against animal cruelty, an avid reader, a party animal and a best friend to her husband. Close friends are careful never to discuss the age difference with her husband because he will fiercely defend her and when a man is that in love, it’s dangerous to mess around with him.

Sally still believed I was full of s**t and only because I adore her did I finally say, “You know what? You’re right. What do I know about relationships?”

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