“The biggest coward is the man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her”, a quote that I have just read. It reminded me of the many stories I heard about men who showed up suddenly and disappeared, also suddenly, with no explanation. They don’t bother to give you a justification or excuse for appearing, nor for disappearing.
Yet, all the blame always falls on the woman… She is blamed for believing, for dreaming, for having hopes, for putting weight on something that hasn’t started in the first place. And all the excuses are offered to men… They just wanted friendships, they never said it was special, and they were honest from the beginning.
But, well, wait. Define honesty. Is it only saying the truth? Or also, not hiding it, and letting someone believe otherwise? How hard is it for a mature man to know that the way he is acting will lead a woman to believe that she is more than just a friend? How hard is it for him to say what he feels and feel what he says? If he liked her at the beginning and then just stopped, why couldn’t he make it clear? And if he never liked her, why did he make it look like he did?
Define honesty. Is it only saying the truth? Or also, not hiding it, and letting someone believe otherwise?
So basically what he does is, giving the girl signals that he is interested. Then he leaves her in the middle of nowhere, wondering where she went wrong. He triggers her emotions, making her believe that they are “something” or about to be, then leaves her to think how naive she was, how stupid and weak. And no, he can’t just tell himself, “she got the wrong vibes”, and feel better about himself, because she didn’t get there by choice. He let her in and then left her in… She didn’t want to be disappointed, that’s for sure. And she doesn’t like to be hurt, who does? And what makes it worse is that she actually never gets any explanation. She never gets to understand what happened and what went wrong, because by the time she will want to hear answers, he would have already forgotten all about her. She was nothing from the very beginning, so why would he be concerned about her now?
We always blame women for over-analyzing and over-thinking. That is true; they do. The majority of them do. However, we can’t just throw all the blame on them and walk away. There are times when men will need to take their own share of the responsibility. There are times when they will really need to think about what they did wrong to be misunderstood. Because when it comes to emotions, a simple mistake can lead to an everlasting heartbreak.
Dina is here to put your feelings into words, and your thoughts into sentences. So that when you read them, you would know that you are not alone.