I have been married now for four years and like any other married guy, I keep asking myself every now and then “what did I get myself into here?”. I used to hear that from many married men, even from the happy satisfied ones, which turned out to be the famous slogan of each married man. When you ask any man about his marriage, you will hear the same thing “it happened fast”. I just can’t remember how but it happened. It seems that we men get carried away in the idea of getting married and just wake up when it’s too late to change anything!
When I moved to our new house after we got married, I was happy with the idea of setting the rules around the house like any newly married guy who still does not know the rules of the game. I remember the first day we came to the new house, my wife and I seemed like two lost puppies that cannot find any place to go to or anything to do on our own. We used to hang out around the house together, doing everything together until we go to sleep. It took us some time until each one of use managed to keep his private life and being married simply turned to a social status that does not interfere with one’s private life.
Instead of setting the rules like I thought I would, my wife started training and conditioning the same way you would do with a new dog you just got. She started offering me rewards to motivate me do stuff around the house like washing the dishes and chores like that. The reward started with a simple kiss and boy I obeyed anything to get my kiss. This “training” method lasted for quite some time until I began doing all that by myself without the reward. Hmm. Now the reward has been shifted and saved for doing unexpected chores like, changing the sheets, for example. I am glad that there are some things around the house that the wife will never manage to teach her husband like how to get the laundry right, iron and cook. The reason for that is simple. The wife has to maintain a few weapons to herself, so if a fight erupts, she can always manage to boycott cooking, laundry and ironing, the pillars of the home. So she would then shut you out off all these privileges and you will again end up like a lost puppy but this time all alone with no one to hang out with. I found out that this is a strategy that all wives apply, to tell you the truth it works fine and ends the fight just the way they want.
Peter Zarief is our new guest columnist who turns his stand up comedy on relationships into a monthly write up. Peter Zarief, is one of the most acclaimed stand up comedians in Egypt, works in telecommunications and is married to beautiful Maggie. Stay tuned for the next issue!