Searching for The Happiness in Heartache

If you are a man and reading this then you probably already know that most women live at least 50% of their lives in their heads. If you are a woman then you are vehemently denying it. It is the sheer beauty and complexity of women combined. We women love to analyze, daydream, imagine and do every counter productive thing we can with our minds.  This is particularly true when disaster strikes and our gentle souls can’t handle the pain.

Second to death, a breakup can be the most devastating thing to happen to a woman. It doesn’t even have to be a long-term relationship gone wrong to cause a woman to reach into her bag of mentally torturous thoughts. It could simply be the guy who said he would call but didn’t, the one who only calls when he is drunk or lonely, the one who won’t make a move and everything else in between.

It’s that nasty sentiment of feeling unwanted and undesired that drives us women into a frenzy of thinking, just trying to make sense of what went wrong. The unbelievable part of the story is that the reasons are neverthat complicated. It’s just simple if we dare to face the truth.

Books like “He’s Just Not That Into You”, later remade into a movie are a hot item on any reader’s list for a reason. It’s an author that we can’t get angry at for saying it like it is. What this author tells us is that unlike ourselves, men are not as complex and if he acts like he doesn’t care then he probably just doesn’t. He wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you by not calling or only calling for some sweet talk before bed. He was just never that interested in the first place.

But what do we do when we get that long awaited phone call (even if it’s at 3am)? We answer and pretend that wecouldn’t sleep and then sit our girl friends down the next day to collectively think if he is serious and what we should do next.

Stop it. Drop it. It’s only in your head.

The problem is that we are no longer capable of enduring long durations of heartache and so we seek any quick fix. But if you want any chance of inner peace with the opposite sex then it’s time you put down all your defense mechanisms and woman up.

If he says he loves you but can’t leave his wife because of the kids.

If he says he called because he had an erotic dream about you.

If he bitches about his ex but isn’t moving forward with you.

If he expects you to pay when you go out.

If he never has time to see you.

If his family’s approval is more important than committing to you.

Then, he just isn’t that in to you and the sooner you realize that the better. Remember the days when young women were hard to get and worth the chase. It shouldn’t be any different today.Maybewe have somehow become too westernized to realize that this was probably one of the best characteristics of our culture.

Playing games are for the insecure but a woman seeking true love and internal satisfaction can own up to the truth that when a guy doesn’t show her the kind of respect expected of him, she walks away with her head held high because someone else worth her time is just around the corner. She doesn’t lie to herself when she realizes she is just a booty call. She cuts it off and deletes the number.

It’s all pretty inspiring to say but the reason why we don’t all do it is that, it is pretty damn hard. Like that detox that promises 5 kilos off in a week, only a few venture in, succeed and then gloat about it.

Just like you know you would love to lose the 5 kilos, you are definite that you want to be sure that you are nobody’s option #2.

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