You know this when this one couple shows up at the outing and you think “they are the perfect couple”…WAIT…STOP! What does “perfect couple” even mean?
Remember that other time when you’d just finished fighting with your partner then happened to stop at a post of a hot looking couple with the hashtag “couple goals”? ….WAIT…STOP AGAIN! What are couple goals anyway and how do we reach them?
Behind the Glamour
What you see is not always what you get. The glamour that’s on the surface is not necessarily a reflection of the true essence of a relationship. As a matter of fact, most happy couples are busy enjoying being in their relationships instead of posting their glamourous shots together on social media. One happy relationship may look completely different than another happy relationship. However, the one common thing between all happy couples is that they have no longing to prove to anyone that they are happy in their relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against couples sharing pleasant (or unpleasant) moments in their relationship on social media or in public, what I’m saying is that if you catch yourself dong it to prove to others or even worse, to yourself that you are happy then you are fooling yourself and it would only be hurting your relationship.
The real goal
Now let’s really try to understand what should couple goals be, and the answer is definitely not a perfect couple.
Everyone wants to be happy and couples are no different, they want to be happy in a relationship and that is the real couple goal. So the question is what makes you as a couple happy? The challenge arises when what makes one partner in a relationship happy differs from what makes the other partner happy. In such cases, couples need to explore different activities and experiences until they can find their common ground.
It is crucial that you keep an open heart and listen to what your partner would enjoy even if you believe you won’t enjoy it. This journey where you as a couple venture out of your comfort zone is what defines real couple goals, this is what will bond you together and consequently, enable you to reach the most perfect version of your relationship.
BEWARE…couple goals are not challenge-free
Relationship goals are just like any other goal you try to achieve in life. Reaching a relationship status that is satisfying for you and your partner and being happy with your relationship requires working hard and putting in the time and effort to reach that goal. At times the process is smooth, but it will not always be a walk in the park. The rough times will teach you more about yourself and your partner. Then, instead of having a vulnerable and perhaps fake relationship that you try to prove is strong by acting in public or sharing posts on social media, you will actually be LIVING your true couple goals.
Rasha Salama is a relationship counselor with a Bachelor in Psychology and Masters in Counseling Psychology from AUC. Rasha has always had a passion for travelling and enjoys new adventures. In 2017, she founded the RE, the first couple retreat service in the Middle East with the aim of helping couples enhance their relationships.