“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Remember when George Clooney, who was the most popular bachelor in Hollywood married Amal Alamedin? Tabloid media gossiped about this and assumed that George fell in love with Amal’s intelligence not her beauty.
In many cultures and across different eras, beauty has always been defined by others and is usually for reasons that serve sectors such as: the fashion and beauty industry. This confined definition of beauty has impacted many psychologically and how they see themselves. Sometimes those beauty standards, may even affect relationships of so many people with their families.
A sad but common story #1:
A dark skinned girl born into a family of blonde ancestors & is looked upon as “the ugly duckling”. She bares the social pressure of not being good enough and that no one will love her let or see her as “beautiful”. This affects her self-esteem impairing her social skills from developing and hence she falls victim to this negative self-fulfilling prophecy.
A sad but common story #2:
A dark skinned girl born in a family of blonde ancestors is looked upon as “the ugly duckling”. She bares the social pressure, never feeling good enough, believing no one will love her or see her as “beautiful”. She rebels and goes against all odds, resilient, putting a confident mask determined to get through with life.
She meets Mr. Right & underneath her strong façade, she is fighting her own struggle with beauty standards. Thoughts that only come, when she feels insecure. Because of all this pressure, she constantly doubts herself and looks for reassurance all the time: Do I look good in this outfit? Am I pretty? Does he really love me? Little did she know that unconsciously she was burdening her own marriage.
Most men are initially attracted to women for their looks, but I have come across so many men, who confidently choose their partners based on intellect& character first. I usually challenge the latter, asking them “so you didn’t find her physically attractive?” Their response is very often “of course she was pretty to me but that was not what attracted me to her, it was her personality, positivity, intelligence.”
Don’t marry a man who doesn’t see you beautiful, who is just impressed with your personality, positivity and intelligence or whatever else it is. Don’t allow whatever insecurity you have regarding your beauty to get between you. I have said this before and I will say it again and forever. “Men are attracted to a confident woman and a confident woman is a pretty woman.”
With the ever changing standards of beauty for both men and women, partners could find themselves falling for the social pressure and not seeing the partner’s beauty. Don’t panic, it does not mean you stopped loving them and that your marriage is falling apart. It could mean you are losing your passion or that you both need to refresh. Out of love, be open and communicate your new needs with your partner; after all every relationship needs a little spice up every now-and-then. Revisit your perception of beauty and think about who sets these standards. I bet, you will reach the same conclusion: “Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder.”
