Monogamy: Fantasy or Fallacy

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Little do I know about relationships; but all I can say is that monogamy is my stance when I am in love or in a relation. Faithfulness is and must be the core of my being.  However, in the world of ratings, the whole thing would be like a kind of C experience to me. For this status of monogamy might be stifling when I need a miracle in disguise to snatch me out of this ensnarement of a marriage or relation. And for whatever reason I want out, I won’t say that I’d never wonder what people might say of me; for it will be more honorable to die or have my shameless self being swallowed up in an earthquake!

 Basically, a woman’s antics in our society are tame compared to the behavior of men, who are unapologetic about their free-swinging relations; of-course hacking the system is all their right. We do not have the courage to defy the unfairness against us, we can only capitulate. You would probably find some women skulking around the malls mumbling to themselves, “Why can’t we have peace in this comic existence?”

Certainly I am not saying that swinging and open relationships should be feasible for women. God forbid me, we are a respectable society after all. I only mean that at the end of the day we are all humans prone to mistakes. Indeed, for years, we have said to each other, to our partners- that monogamy is a choice that we willingly make- and if you expect it to come naturally, then there is no parallel wisdom to our relationship (or our shot at one is doomed.) In other words, we were taken for granted to be faithful.

Am I being a killjoy now? Perhaps. It is indeed wretchedness beyond description to assume that monogamy is a fallacy for men and a fantasy for women. But, bear with me; I am just basing my opinion by taking a general view of any Arab society. To make a more a clean breast of this, I must admit that some women are more screwed up and promiscuous than men and some men are more domesticated and honest than women.  So forgive me for this narrow-minded observation which I base this article on.

We can’t enter a new way of living and loving easily. Old habits and traditions are more welcome, where failure is more of an option to men than women.  Moreover, a man in Islam is allowed to marry more than one; polygamy- but it is ordained by God that a man must treat all wives equally (and because it is close to impossible, the best solution is to keep company to one spouse).

I had the good fortune of knowing people who were faithful and true in their marriage. Although they were few, they gave me hope to dodge my bad experiences and think sanguinely. I had the picturesque mind of seeing myself in a happy marriage, and envisaging a society of rigid monogamy in which two are devoted to each other… you give them your life: you cook yourself blue in the face, keep the house immaculate, and starve yourself into osteoporosis. For them, they will never leave you even if the wrinkles on your face resemble the waves of the sea, will never open the door even a crack to another woman, and will always follow the marriage cliché, “for better or worse”.  And what more, with this glaring fantasy, the world is only molded around making these two-love birds happy.

Back to reality, where pure reverie might not be practical … the idea of presumed monogamy, yet, might be found frightening, invigorating, daunting, and exhilarating all at the same time. Let us think this way: the number of men outweighs women, so one woman would be with a man, the other left out. Poison tongues would flap and jealousy would increase. Did you see the way he looks at her? Why is she married and I am not? I am much prettier than her.

So, what is right then, when even something as wonderful as monogamy might create some havoc in another’s life? What about polygamy? The color will fall from my face because I despise that. How about employing a kind of hypothesis: that a tiny injection of adventure will ward off the urge to stray further? Again, I do not like the idea.

I can now see it coming: putting myself into a perplexing, dumb-founded state. I made my thoughts go too far that I failed to answer the question, Monogamy: is it Fantasy or Fallacy. I guess, in the name of sanity, I can only proclaim a chicken soup for the soul which is: Let us wish monogamy is not a fallacy to all of us, but rather a fantasy that will dearly embrace reality.



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