It takes Two to Tango!! And Yes, there is a Second Love!

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Has anybody seen the movie "Aan el Eshq wel Hawa"? The one with Mona Zaki, Ahmed El Sakka, Boshra, Menna and Shalaby. I believe that movie had such a deep meaning held within it. For those who haven’t seen the movie, in a nutshell and without telling the story in case you intend to watch it; Mona Zaki was his first love ever… the one he loved since childhood, and they had to break up for a very crucial reason and they were both totally heartbroken. A few years later he married Boshra who was an old family friend who was madly in love with him for years and she was practically and MENTALY the best choice; the ideal wife who looks good, treats him well, got him a child, a good cook and from a very good family. During his marriage, he met Menna Shalaby, who was also married and worked for him. On one night they got really drunk, made love and suddenly felt that they were IN love!! There were some phrases used in that movie that were really factual about “the love game”.


One of the most significant and profound phrases used in the movie was: “Love has a season!” A season in your life; If you're ready to fall in love, you will no matter what, but if you're not ready, no matter how startling the person in front of you is, you will not truly fall in love with them.


I personally believe that you can only fall in love TWICE in your whole life, I mean TRUE love! The first love is when you're younger and get the butterflies in your stomach filled with excitement before you meet him, feel the blood rushing through your body and mind every time you see him, the tickles down your spine, those shivers you get when he touches your hands… the feeling that your heart is going to pop right out of your chest when he says "I love you". Some people were lucky to go through all those feelings and actually end up marrying that person, but sadly, most people don't get that far, they grow apart and realize that they no longer admire the same things, no longer have the same goals in life, simply are no longer on the same wavelength.


Here are the phases you go through when that kind of relationship comes to an end:


Phase 1: Devastation over takes you:  You're miserable! Your friends come over with the double tissue box, the body lotions and shower gels, heaps of chocolates… you weep throughout the whole "Serendipity" movie and keep filling buckets till dusk.


Phase 2: Rebound: You think that the only way to get over it is by meeting someone else! WRONG MOVE!!! This person will be taking all the whining and once you feel you got over the first love, you will leave this person when you realize he is not what you're looking for or that you were with him for the wrong reasons.


Phase 3: Feeling whole again: You start appreciating that life has more to it, that you can enjoy life without having to have someone special in your life, it takes your mind away from thinking about it, you start realizing that it was meant to happen. You actually start knowing what you’re REALLY looking for in your partner. 90% of what you will be looking for is not what you saw in your first love. You will actually start thinking: “How did I EVER do that to myself? What was I thinking? How did I think I loved him? How did I spend all that time with him? Of course it wasn’t love”, Well, actually it WAS love, that’s the first time your heart ever feels what love actually feels like.


Phase 4: Along comes Mr. Right: He usually comes along when you’re not looking! Your boss asks you to call a client urgently and set a meeting with him to discuss a new project, you feel so reluctant to go, you’re extremely busy, you’re not dressed appropriately, didn’t have time that week to pay a visit to the beauty salon, you try to explain to your boss but he insists work is more important. You walk in, inform the receptionist that you have an appointment, the “client” walks out to greet you and escort you to the conference room. Suddenly, the whole “meeting” turns into a casual conversation where you discuss  your favorite food, the last time you were in London, how many siblings you’ve got and ends with “Would you like to have coffee some time?”.  


That’s when the SECOND love comes along. It is when you truly fall in love with someone using both your brains and heart together. He is more responsible, doesn’t beat around the bushes, better looking, financially stable (not a fresh grad who’s still living off his dad’s bank account), you’re from the same educational background, you want the same things in life. This is TRUE love! You know why you’re in love with this person, you have a lot to support your feelings, you are convinced and more sensible about it. You see yourself growing old with him, you don’t feel that cooking for him daily is going to be a prison-like burden and in fact; you can’t wait for that to happen. This is the person you should end up marrying!!


Bottom line: When you grow older, don’t look back and think that you’re first love wasn’t love – it was, but it was just a different kind!



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