Bad Boys. They are exciting, charming, been around the block, can make us feel good about ourselves (and also bad). We enjoy their company, and we might actually seek it, yet the results are almost always painful unless handled with extreme intelligence while maintaining an emotional distance, which is usually quite the challenge to do.
Who is a bad boy? What makes him a bad boy? Are they ones who cheat? Are they the two-timers? Are they the ones who disregard our feelings and use us? Are they the ones who constantly lie? Are they the selfish ones- who think of themselves first?
Are they the ones who flirt with other women but tell you that they are just being nice and friendly?
Yes, all the above can describe a bad boy. There are probably endless descriptions that can apply to one. However, one thing they all have in common is that they generally tend to hurt us. To try and understand a little about whom we describe as a bad boy, or bad men for that matter, I arranged a brief interview with an acclaimed bad boy, whom society has given this title. The objective was to understand why bad boys behave the way they do with women- what really instigates this carelessness with people’s feelings and their desire to enjoy the world until the very last drop regardless of who gets hurt.
As our bad boy comes along- immediately attention goes to him- looking cool and calculated. Every step he takes and the way he carries himself reflects too much confidence. Of course, from head to toe he is dressed for show. He realizes he is getting attention from every direction, and thoroughly enjoys it. Charming and polite- Mr. X (the name of our bad boy for the sake of anonymity and to be able to hunt new victims of course) he indicates he wants to start the interview.
Hello Mr. X, how would you like to introduce yourself?
I am 37 years old, I have a degree in Medicine and currently work solely in research. Although my work is quite demanding and very intense, I like to go to the gym to release the stress and go out with friends, both males and females during the week and on weekends of course.
You are currently single?
Yes, it depends on the situation and who is asking me that question, I am currently single. I was previously married and have a child, who is the joy of my life.
How many times were you engaged?
Four times.
Wow, four is a lot, what happened?
This shows that I was genuine in my approach, I did not know the women well, and to get to know them better, we had to get engaged. After we got engaged, they turned out to be someone else, I realized that it would not work out, so we split. It was better for all parties.
How many women have you dated?
I cannot count them. This is a very hard one.
How many times have you fallen in love?
Twice.
What is the most that you have done for a woman?
I gave her my child.
What is the most that a woman has done for you?
Just so you know, when a woman does things like get a man a gift for Valentine’s or her beau’s birthday, women are mainly doing this to please themselves, and not the man. Women enjoy having someone to shop for and do things for- the concept of simply “having someone”. Anyways, the most that a woman has done for me was she helped me when no one did, to move apartments, and then bought for me the missing items in my kitchen. (To add to that, she put photo’s of my daughter around the house, which was really nice).
So what happened to this girl?
It did not work out; we both went our separate ways.
Before you go on a date and actually talk to a woman, how do you know that a woman likes you?
Many things – in the shake of her hair, the way she is afraid to make eye contact (avoiding making eye contact with me), when she walks fast when I look at her and then eventually, she would make sure that I will get the signal that she likes me and I have to ask her, it is the eyes that give her away.
Have you dated more than one woman at the same time?
Yes, it happened.
Do you feel guilty when you date more than one woman at the same time?
If we are not committed – then I do not feel guilty. If I am committed than I do feel guilty a little bit, even though generally speaking, I am sure they are doing the exact same thing, dating someone else while they are seeing me.
So you are saying-you are cheating on them, because you believed they were cheating on you?
Yes. Plus, monogamy is difficult. And, no, if there is no commitment then it is not called cheating.
Why do you date more than one at the same time?
I do not intentionally mean to do that. If I am dating someone else at the same time other than my girlfriend, that means there is something wrong in the relationship that we both failed at. It also probably means she is doing the same thing too. The feelings go both ways, and the reason this happens, is usually because both parties are not satisfied and are looking for more, and hence searching elsewhere.
Do you trust women?
I trust everyone with a limit. I learnt never to trust 100 % (there is no absolute trust in anyone)
How do you manage the simultaneous relationships?
It is very draining and very hard. There are certain things you have to do – to help you not make mistakes. Things such as avoid addressing the girl with her name, call her sweetheart, ya gameel, baby, things like that. Do not let any girl into your routine. Do not let her be part of your routine. If she calls you, you do not have to always pick up, so she does not expect it from you or be able to detect patterns or behavior. Do not promise or stick to any fixed program, because this is going to give you away (even if you have the time).
Simultaneous relationships involve lying, how do you feel about that?
You do not have to lie, just do not mention everything- but you can maintain partial truth. Lies will give you physical and mental distress.
Obviously, you like the thrill of the chase and the game of hunting women- can you specify what exactly do you like about it?
I do not like changing relationships- I just cannot find the person, who I can stay with for good. I cannot find the person who will occupy my body, mind and soul. By the way, I get hurt when I leave or end a relationship.
What type of women do you date?
I think this question is degrading both to women and to me. I simply date women I like.
What type of women do you like then?
Independent women, she takes care of herself, a female, and she should be good at things I am not good at, self-confident, – they also have to like me a whole
Are you limited to any age group?
No, as long as she as old enough to drive, then I am ok, age sometimes does not match the mental development, therefore not an indicator.
What type of women do you avoid?
Mentally and emotionally unstable women, also women who are needy and clingy.
What attracts you to a woman?
Before I get to know her – her looks and how she handles herself is what attracts me or anyone else. After I get to know her- it is the way she thinks.
Why do you think women like you?
Because I provoke them and because I am a challenge to many. I have seen how many women have tried to control me and to change me. I have seen it a lot. In the end women like someone who is confident about everything and I like to think that I am.
So you only attract women who like a challenge?
Everyone enjoys some challenge.
Do you think women are dumb for falling for someone like you?
Wise women fall for me- because they know I am going to satisfy their every need, because I can be anything. Therefore, I deserve a very special woman. I will make sure she gets everything she needs. To top that, I will give her the attention she needs and I will listen to her.
Do you think you can be loyal to one person?
Yes. I believe I can be loyal. I can be loyal, provided I marry a woman with multiple personalities, this is to suit my varying needs. (laughs)
What do you feel when you go to sleep at night alone?
You have to be specific in your question. Are you alone physically or emotionally?
I could be sleeping with someone next to me, but feel empty inside and very alone. So whether someone is there or not, does not really make a difference, it is the existence of an emotional partner that counts. When I am in love, I could be sleeping in bed alone, but because I am in love, and emotionally satisfied, I do not feel that. To answer your question, when I am in an emotional void, it hurts, I feel vulnerable. Basically, I feel incomplete.
So eventually, you do want to get married?
Yes, I would like to get married and have more kids.
Do you have any advice to give to single women today?
Yes, I do. I want to tell single women please do not be harsh on men. Try to understand men, do not complain about a guy being superficial, when this is the way you promote yourself, and this is the way you got him in the first place (hooked him). Try to understand yourself and what you need first. Always know, happiness comes from inside and not from the outside.
In trying to conduct an interview with Mr. X, it is very obvious why we like bad boys. They always have an excuse for themselves. Always appeal and play on the emotional aspect of any conversation. In addition, they present themselves as the victim of too many bad encounters and unfaithful women, who led them to be who they are today. More so, they feel a compelling need to prove they are worthy, get acceptance and naturally get attention. Without going into a psychological analysis of why bad boy have become bad boys- the advice to women who thrive on bad boys; while you are dealing with a bad boy, park your heart aside and think with your brain, to avoid being the next victim of a boy we love-to-hate.
