we can all agree that the dating game is not an easy one, not at all. Considering our culture, women have a lot of concerns when talking to a strange man. Thoughts like ‘what will he think of me if I talk to him’ scream at the top of their mind. I mean, let’s face it, if one of your friends didn’t do the introduction, you are more likely to be hesitant, or in some cases against, talking to a strange man. If you relate to this situation, then we need to admit your chances of meeting someone new is borderline slim. Cairo enjoys big social circles, many of which are interrelated. However, decent single guys are always hard to find. They are more like the solar eclipse; you rarely see them but when you do it’s very special.
So, let’s assume you are one of the lucky ones who found a nice guy; you wouldn’t want this rare chance to go to waste, right? Here are some behavior guidelines to consider when meeting a new guy. They are combination of my-and my friend’s experiences; as well as mistakes guys consider to be a ‘deal-breaker’.
Mistake # 1
As my favorite comedian Chris Rock once adequately put it, when you meet a new guy, he ends up meeting your representative. This is true in almost 99% of the cases; women tend to be someone they are not when meeting new men, obviously someone better then they are, or so they think. Although I know men do the same, we tend to overdo it in somewhat more obvious and blunt way that ends up being very unattractive.
Based on a survey done by a student in my senior year, 75% of men are turned off by insecure women. Honestly, would you think highly of an insecure man? By pretending to be someone you’re not on your first encounter, you let the guy see some really bad qualities, that, ironically, you might not posses in the first place. Being pretentious and a phony, indicates that you do not like your real self, otherwise why would you be trying to hide it?
I heard, and witnessed, some situation where the woman would flat out tell a lie when being asked certain questions. Naturally, her deceitful answer sounded much better, or made her look much cooler. What about when the guy finds out that you were lying to him the whole time? Is your real self so horrible that a liar still looks better? So to torture a cliché, here’s my advice; be yourself.
This being said, you still need to consider some aspects. Do not go spilling some intimate secrets to a guy on the first date, even if you think you are connecting on every level you might think of. You might want to hold off the personal details for later, when you know it might go somewhere. Keep in mind, the first date is for you two to get to know each other. Appropriate subjects will be hobbies, interests, career choices, background etc.
Mistake # 2
Do not, I repeat do not talk about your ex-boyfriends. The last thing a guy wants to hear about on the first date is your love conquests. If the question of a recent break up comes up, just give a brief answer, and not another bitter women diary.
Trust me, blabbing on and on about an old boyfriend makes you come off as the crazy hung-up one at the end. Always remember that you want to appear reasonable and balanced. So avoid any topics that might stir up strong emotions; such as politics or religions. Keep it light hearted; try to add a lot of sense of humor to the date as it scores high with the guys.
Mistake # 3
Contrary to popular belief, dumb-ing yourself down does not make you more sexy! I realize that the media had been bombarded recently with stories and images of famous socialites that only utter one or two words (like the infamous “that’s hot”). Thank god some are speaking against this strange epidemic, like your girl “Pink” in her video ‘stupid girls’. As Egyptians, we always tend to adopt a lot of western trends; however, this is one trend you do not want to adopt. Unfortunately, this epidemic has reach Egypt, and I have seen many girls acting ridiculously stupid around guys.
Appearing gullible is a major turn off to many men. You don’t have to pretend to be smart either, just show that you have more on your mind than shoes.
Mistake # 4
Maintain class and dignity at all times, avoid big reactions in general. Some of the fundamental characteristics of a woman are poise, elegance and grace. Hot tempered women do not score very high with anyone. So if the waiter messes up your order, do not kick him in the groin, rather maintain and elegant, yet from tone with him. Trust me; it will earn you a lot of respect. This goes out to all of you loud speakers as well, try to tone it down a bit as it is easy for you to be misunderstood.
You need to look at the dating game as a sort of interview. You want to look and appear your absolute best, while maintaining your true nature. Worst case scenario, you will end up with new acquaintance that, like an employer, might refer you to someone else. Dating is more like networking, which will hopefully lead you to a special someone along the way. Best advice is to always be prepared; so always look your best, meaning basic hygiene and grooming. You do not have to wear make up and heels to go to the grocery store.