Last month I received an email from a heartbroken girl who was dumped after wasting several years in a relationship with a guy who just took her for granted. She came to me for advice and comfort but instead, I snapped. I cried and I told her:
You made me cry!
You made me feel that I am useless and that everything that I wrote or shared over the past 5 years is nothing and will have no impact whatsoever!
The same mistakes! The same shit! The same feelings! The same regrets!
Nothing changed … nothing changes … nothing will change!
It’s a curse!!!
I am so so so angry at you now … I am angry enough to be rude and you have to put up with it!!! And guess what? I DO NOT BLAME THE GUY! NOT A TINY TINY BIT!
Please read my damn book … it is for free on my stupid website!!!
If you do not like to read then listen to it … the audio version is also for free on the good-for-nothing website!!
Listen to the radio nonsense talk that I waste my breath on!
Read the stupid articles that mean absolutely nothing!!!!
Watch the shows that I waste my time going to!!!
Everything is for free and accessible on the damn site!!!
Why did you come to me now? What can I do to help you? What can I possibly say to make you feel better? What can I do to erase all your sins against yourself?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok … let me tell you the rest of your story… just in case you do not know how it goes from here; you will cry, beg, plead, and fall apart a million times hoping that he would have mercy on you and marry you! He will not!
Or maybe he will … and for the rest of your life you will be his slave … he will never love you the way a woman should be loved! You will always be “the glue” as you described it! You will be a miserable wife and will have miserable kids!
After her email and after my horrible reaction, I wanted to quit! I wanted to give up on my chosen mission! Despair found its way to my heart and I gave up on myself just as much as I gave up on people. Then out of nowhere I found strangers whom I had never heard from in my whole life – who read my nutcase reply – emailing me and telling me how I have helped them one way or the other. I was amazed! Those were people who have never met me, yet realized how much turmoil I was going through and they lent me a hand.
Other people – who were only names on a screen – reached out to me with strength and support and positive energy. They did their best to assure me that I am human and that they will be there for me if I needed to talk, or cry, or to just crash in front of someone who will not judge me.
Friends showed up from nowhere and began reminding me that I cannot save them all and that I can only save those who want to be saved; that my work is a drop in the ocean and if I gave up, the ocean will be one drop less. They told me that my duty is to try and to keep trying but I am not accountable by the outcome. I was reminded that people who come to me are like vessels; some are wide and empty, others are tall and narrow, some are half full, and many are just locked. My role is to pour my knowledge and each vessel will respond according to its capacity.
This is a note to thank those who helped me regain my strength and get back on my feet! I owe you my life.