Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Get Pregnant in the First Year of Marriage

A scholar once argued that language was abstract (intangible). He created a diagram to prove that just about any word was abstract on some level. The only problem was that, the more the abstraction, the less the word directly resembles reality. This explains why a word like “pregnancy” doesn’t suggest a particular image in one’s mind, urging each one of us to perceive it in our own way.
Because you are not about to make a life-twisting decision based on an abstract perception, we made you a pregnancy diagram, with the highest level of abstraction (farthest from reality) and down to the lowest level of abstraction (which is reality).

  • Highest Level of Abstraction: Pregnancy

There’s a point when you are in love where you stop to think that it’s not possible to be that much in love and that it’s only selfish to not get these small minion-versions of your partner, because the world needs it. His sarcasm, gentleness, brains, all of it. Only then does tying the knot with a baby right after marriage seem so right.

  • Lower Level: Pregnancy is a responsibility

It’s not all going to be rainbows and butterflies, you’ll have to sacrifice some old habits in order to pick up new ones. They said you’ll sleep less, drink your coffee cold, quit your job for a while, gain a few kilograms, give up your social life, but it’s a responsibility that you are willing to take. It’s a baby, how hard can it be? Angelina has six of those. Have you seen how cute they can be?

  • An Even Lower Level: Pregnancy early in the marriage is a risk

Just when you are tucking yourself into a new life, getting used to the whole idea of marriage and the responsibilities that come with it as plus ones (or plus zillions to be precise), you shouldn’t be worrying about pregnancy. One thing at a time, woman!

You are not giving your emotional state much of a chance to stabilize. Let’s not forget that being a newlywed will make every fight a reason to question whether or not you chose the right person to be the father of your children. You don’t want to be thinking if your baby will get his temper, his tendency to control every living creature, or his habit of tossing and turning in bed. You’d better wait until there aren’t any more surprises.

  • Lower and Lower: Pregnancy is a responsibility that’ll make you age 10 years in 9 months

For someone who is just learning about life, so much for reading baby books and getting tips on how to change diapers or treat diarrhea. And when that phase is over, it takes you to another of watching your tongue, answering awkward questions, and testing your parenting skills. Not to mention providing a healthy environment that is fights and heated-arguments-free.

  • Lowest Level of Abstraction: Reality
  • Pampers: EGP 80 per pack (at least)
  • Baby bottles and pacifiers: 80 and up (the durable kind)
  • Inflammation cream: EGP 120
  • Doctor’s appointment: around EGP 150
  • Inoculation: Some are free, but those that aren’t are for a minimum of EGP 300
  • Crib: Starting at 2000
  • Carrycot, cart, car seat, etc.: Thousands!
  • Baby shampoo that is eye-sensitive: EGP 40
  • Milk formula: EGP 120 per month.
  • Decent toys: EGP 100 and up
  • Cerelac: EGP 20, but if you are more of a Rere kind of person, it’s EGP 9
  • Anti-depressants (for you) to keep going: depends on your prescription

You can choose whatever level of abstraction that suits you best, or whatever allows you uninterrupted sleep. But know that, despite our individual differences, this is the kind of responsibility none of us are ever ready to handle at a young age. So somewhere along the journey, when you decide to grow a life inside of you, make sure it’s the right time.

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