Egypt: No Country for Little Princesses


We’ve previously mentioned what it would have been like if Egyptian actresses played Disney villains. This made us think, those Disney villains were all strong and vicious; they could have fended for themselves in Egypt, but what about the pretty princesses? What would have happened to them had they lived in our Cairo?


Below is what we think would probably take place:






One of the reasons why we love Belle is much is that we can relate to her bookworm side. We love books, and we will read anything we could get our hands on. However, we’re sure that if Belle lived in Egypt, and she had stumbled upon a version of 1984, it might have gotten her in trouble.



We know that Jasmine’s costume in Disney’s Aladdin is not the most historically correct – that, and many other factors, but let us move on. Yet, it’s so nicely designed, that we’ve learned to turn a blind eye to that. The rest of Egypt wouldn’t, however, and if Jasmine’s status as a Princess protects her from harassment, it wouldn’t protect her from criticism.


The Little Mermaid

The internet has become a way for us to feed the tabloid-loving little monster inside us Egyptians. We’re almost positive that 90% of YouTube videos uploaded in Egypt have the line “Watch before it’s deleted!” in the title. We bet that if there was a mermaid sighting, we would be the first to cash in on it. Not only is it a mermaid, but it’s a mermaid in a seashell bikini!



She’s our absolute favorite because she took matters into her own hands. Mulan single-handedly saved China without the help of a prince. She cross-dressed her way into the army to save her father’s life for crying out loud! However, we’re positive that wouldn’t have saved her from an old Egyptian friend of her mother’s to ask her the inevitable question “won’t we see you married soon?”



Long, beautiful, blonde hair would never survive Cairo. If she wants her hair protected from the pollution and dust, she will have to resort to other means of helping people up. That wouldn’t be too difficult, though, because us Egyptians have the best invention in modern history… the grocery basket!


Snow White

We’re sorry to say this, but beautiful, fragile Snow White wouldn’t have survived Cairo. Nope! There is no way that we see a girl naive enough to waltz into the home of 7 strange men and assume that they’ll help her, surviving this city. There is only one way for this to turn out, and it’s not pretty.


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