I know it’s complicated, I know that most of your parents live in denial and have no idea about your tough reality. I get it, I also get that many of you are sexually active, yet without proper education. Most of your knowledge comes from porn or google.
I get how difficult it is to balance your western education and upbringing with your conservative and religious surroundings, I get what complications arise from sitting between two chairs. I understand that you think we don’t get it, I used to think the same.
Dear Teenage Boy,
When you are at a party, club, or at school and you see a girl and touch her inappropriately this is called sexual harassment.
If this girl is drunk or passed out and you touch her it’s called sexual assault. If you sleep with her while she is unconscious or passed out, this is called RAPE.
If you blackmail a girl with nudes you have this is a crime. If you blackmail her and demand sexual favors this is sexual assault and also a crime.
If you text a girl a photo of your genitals, this is called sexual harassment.
If you are in a relationship with a girl and she breaks up with you and you threaten to ruin her reputation and tell everyone she is a slut, this is called blackmail and slander.
If you video record yourself with a girl who doesn’t know about it and send it to your friends it’s called $£¥•%#.
If you gossip about girls with your boys calling them sluts, shemal, sha2t, and so on, it’s slander.
If you are witness to any of the above or know someone who is doing any of the above please come forward to a trusted adult. You can save someone from abuse by speaking up.
Being silent makes you an accomplice.
Consent means asking for permission.
No means No. Always.
Dear Teenage Girl,
You are enough. No boy in the world should ever be able to violate you. You are worthy of love and respect. Please love yourself and know that your parents love you unconditionally.
If he asks you for nudes because he “loves you” please don’t do it. Anything you upload or share is not private and will be used against you. If you have sent nudes, and he blackmails you with them, please don’t give in to his demands. A screenshot can jail him by the way. Don’t agree to meet him nor send more pics. Please come clean to your parents or a trusted adult to help you. Don’t give in to the blackmail.
If you are in a car with a boy and you consented to be in his car and he starts to touch you in a way that you don’t want, say No and get yourself out of the situation. Whatever happens after this NO is not consensual and is sexual assault.
If you go to a boy’s house and you start consensual physical contact and you said STOP, then anything after that is sexual assault.
You have the right to change your mind at any point in time. Nothing that happens after that is your fault. It’s sexual assault.
If an “older boy” (above 21) touches you or tries to kiss you by force, it’s child abuse, and you can jail him.
If you get raped please involve your parents. They won’t blame you. Don’t be afraid and involve a trusted adult. Don’t hide this.
You have rights. Please speak up and try to confide in someone. You don’t have to be alone in this. No means No.
Dear Parents of Teenage Girls,
After working with many assault victims I can safely say that they all have the same common denominator: fear from parents and “fedi7a” (scandal).
The girls would rather accept being blackmailed and forced into sexual acts than come clean to their parents and seek help.
Please speak with your children. Please go to your daughter and tell her you love her no matter what.
Tell her that if she actually sent a nude photo, that you are upset but you will stand by her. Tell her that she cannot under any circumstances, be blackmailed with our love and support.
Tell your teenage girl that she is beautiful, smart, and worthy of respect and love and trust. Tell her that she needs to fight back and walk away if her boundaries are crossed. Tell her that her body is hers alone. She has autonomy over it. Love her unconditionally.
Dear Parents of Teenage Boys,
Please sit with your boy and tell him about consent. Tell him if you like a girl respect her and ask permission with anything you do. Tell him that violence is not okay. Tell him that when she says no it means no. Tell him that a drunk girl cannot give consent, so protect her and keep her safe. Be a gentle and kind human being. The world needs men like these.
Allow your teenage boys to show emotions, cry, and be vulnerable. Save him from toxic masculinity.
Tell him that he also has boundaries and that he too cannot be touched without consent.
Tell him that porn is not real and love is precious and beautiful and needs to be respected.
Tell him that “locker-room bragging” about what they did with girls to prove their “masculinity” is not the measure for a real “man”.
No more silence.
If you are a sexual assault survivor and need help, please email AbuseReliefAide@gmail.com
Note: boys are subject to sexual harassment as well. All the above applies to all genders. Please seek help if any of the above applies to you. We believe you!