Contemplating in Cairo…vol. 6

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s modern intellectual women living in this country, we have all interacted with male friends and the depth of our relationships with many of them goes beyond mere hellos and goodbyes. We are capable of communicating with the opposite sex as intellectuals and of having mature conversations and exchange in opinions that go beyond the stereotype attitudes in our society. We treat them as friends, as trustees even, and we can actually share secrets with them and take their opinions on matters that we care for.


Forming a strong bond with someone from the opposite sex is certainly a possibility, and in some cases, this bond evolves into something bigger. Sometimes we call that person a ‘Best Friend’. This person turns into a crush and the female genes take over and lead us into the black hole of a one-sided love story, but that’s another topic for another day.


There is a third kind of ‘Evolving’ that is of slightly different and it involves evolving from mere friends to developing physical attraction towards the other person without actually falling in love. Yes, it is possible. You can feel attracted to a person you respect without actually developing intimate feelings for them. Why not? Aren’t you mentally attracted to that person? Doesn’t his intellect fascinate you? Don’t you value his opinion in most of your day-to-day issues? Doesn’t he feel the same way about you? Then why is it far fetched to feel physically attracted to one another when you have both gone beyond looks and have met the person within? Why is the mere thought of being attracted to someone frowned upon? 


If we were to take on this topic with an ‘out of the box’ perspective, putting all religious and ethical issues aside, we will realize that it is not just possible, it is Actual. It has happened before and will happen again, we are just too programmed to believe in its non-existence that we fail to notice or refuse to acknowledge it’s there.


So, let’s say, hypothetically speaking, that this physical attraction does exist, and that the attraction goes both ways, doesn’t it sound alluring and appealing to pursue? Absolutely! Why? Because you’re talking about a person you mentally respect and are not shy of, a person you talk to freely and can communicate with frankly. A person you can tackle taboo topics with and hang out with for hours without bothering that you don’t have any makeup on or that you’re not wearing high heels. A physical relationship between two people like that could definitely be fruitful. Or will it be disastrous? Putting into consideration that we are human beings, physical intimacy between two people always opens the door to expectations, whether we are in love with that person or not. Expectations pave the way for disappointment, and eventually jealousy, and subsequently obsession. As human beings, we are usually incapable of controlling our emotions, whether we are adept of hiding them or not. Though going physical with your guy best friend could progress into an unbreakable bond that would enhance your relationship and take it to the next level, there is still a possibility that it will cause the deterioration of this relationship, because ration is no longer the key factor controlling it.


So, is it worth it?


I guess that depends on our individual priorities. If I truly cared for my ‘Best Friend’ and for our relationship, I would be skeptical to go physical with him, knowing that there is a large possibility that our friendship would disintegrate, unless of course our feelings themselves evolve and go beyond friendship and physical attraction. But if I was a daring and adventurous person, I believe I would pursue this attraction relentlessly, and hope for the best. Yes, it would hurt me if the relationship fell apart, but I would work on maintaining and developing it into something bigger and better. Worst-case scenario, I would have the experience of intimacy with a person I truly respected and wouldn’t regret taking that step.


Either way, all I know for sure is that, once such a decision like this is made, there is no turning back. Things will never be the same, no matter how mature the two people involved are and no matter how much they discuss it or believe that they are capable of stopping and going back to their normal lives after that. Maybe that’s why it’s called ‘going physical’; because it’s a one-way road, once it’s taken, you can’t retreat

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