I was flipping through an old magazine recently and I found a poll titled “Should Men be Whipped or Worshiped?” with several opinions from males and females listed underneath. Many of the opinions I read were quite sarcastic, specially the ones that were given by men. Needless to say, most of them voted for being worshipped.
The women’s opinions on the other hand were tipping more towards the “whipping” side, also with sarcastic opinions of how men simply don’t deserve to be treated as such. There was a lot of talk about how middle-eastern men don’t appreciate these gestures and eventually take them for granted. After reading the piece, I tried to figure out my personal opinion on the matter and this is what I came up with.
So, should men be whipped or worshiped?
Well, that kinda depends…
In S&M (Sadomasochism), it is generally known that there is a dominant partner and a submissive partner during the act. The common misconception between non-S&M practitioners is that the dominant partner is the one in control of the situation and the relationship in general. This is not the case. The person in control of the relationship is actually the submissive partner, simply because they can stop at any moment just by uttering the word and because they are usually the ones being desired, which gives them the upper hand in a twisted sort of way.
Consequently, a question like “Should men be whipped or worshiped?” can only be done on an individual basis, depending on what each of us desires from our men. Do we want to control them? Do we want to be controlled by them? Or do we want to be equal partners? And, in answering that, we must also decide how that control will be applied. Will it be applied through dominance or submission? By whipping or by worshiping?
Control can be done using either or both methods. It could be the trend of the relationship or it could be a situational decision that is taken on a case-by-case basis. Either way, many will believe that perhaps men should be whipped and worshiped simultaneously. Whipping is needed when mistakes are made, like when birthdays are missed or when we are told a truth when we’d rather hear a lie (like when asking if he thinks that girl is prettier than I am). Worshiping on the other hand can be a way of controlling the relationship the submissive way. Give a little sweet talk and get whatever you want in return. Men can be babies in that respect and this strategy works frequently, sadly.
Personally, I prefer approaching my man with reason. I don’t believe in whipping and I don’t believe in worshiping. I believe in communication. If whipping or worshiping is needed, an instant intervention must take place or the relationship will fall apart. If reason and communication do not work, then maybe it’s time to take a second look at the relationship, or perhaps reevaluate the basis upon which the partner was chosen. Maybe we should reassess our values and the criteria we base our choices upon.
To help answer the question better, maybe we should try asking it to ourselves. Would WE rather be whipped or worshiped?
Everyone will say they’d rather be worshiped, but being worshiped comes with a
Maybe this is where I should stop …
Maybe this is the question that should be asked in the first place…