Battle For Food

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It takes two to tango as much as it takes two to make a marriage. We all seek a perfect life and a perfect match to marry but we have to admit that nobody takes it all. Marriage is like closing a deal, but this time it is the most important one you will ever do in your life. You have to give up some stuff to gain some more and in all cases; each person accepts the risk of the unknown sides of his partner’s character. These unknown sides will never be revealed in a romantic conversation or a weekend by the sea. It takes a couple of months behind closed doors for it to be clear and your own reality show to take its course.


In such a relation, you vow silently and in public to accept the good, the bad and the ugly in your partner. You try your best to live with the bad and not always fall into the trap of trying to fix it. That is as long as it is not something that would destroy you.

When it comes to the bad, you must have shed some tears at a stage or another. However, the first one is when your tastes start to appear extremely different. That shock is always beyond any girl’s tolerance, when she starts to realize that men are not really interested whether the colors of the curtains match the cushions placed on the sofa, or the design of ceramic creates a contrast with the wall shades! We, men, are practical creatures who evaluate furniture according to the benefit we get out of it and consider it as a tool for our luxury whatever it looks like. I do not mean to dig into deep forgotten memories, but let us face it and talk about your pain to be able to get over it.

It is always the first shock that is the hardest, but with time you get to realize that this is the nature of men. After marriage, we no longer call such situations shocks or arguments as much as we call them “fights”. The first fight starts very early without you two even noticing, which I consider the funniest one ever “Which side of the bed to choose”. Although it is a new bed, and both of you have never tried it before, there will be a fight over which side of the bed will be yours.

 As for the second fight, I personally consider it a “Battle” not just a single fight as it extends for some time after marriage. It is the “Battle for Food”, wife is on one side, and her husband on the other, with his eternal attachment to mum’s cooking. Stepping out of my man’s shoes, I realize that whatever any mum cooks, she will still be the best cook ever in the world, especially for her son. A man thinks it is a winning card in all food battles with his wife. He just sits back and says “nothing compares to my mum’s cooking, oh I miss those days when she used to shower me with all kinds of food whenever I wanted”. These words will either start the war or win back his position in the house with one point ahead and his mum by his side.

Facing her husband and his Mum’s cooking in a battle, each wife feels left alone and beaten even before the first round starts. But I come to you with great news here that will change your position in this battle and grant you the victory you have always dreamed of. It is all very simple and revolves around one simple raw material that I consider the magical “joker card” in your food battle. I present to you “Macaroni”, yes you read it correctly: macaroni. It comes in different shapes, and can go with different sauces, which allows you to be creative each time. Choosing the right shape from the start is what counts.

I am talking here about one raw material that you can use in creating charming and various dishes that will truly impress your husband. Again, here I step out of my shoes as a man and reveal a secret about my species. In the first few months of marriage, we men are impressed by any simple gesture that you make. It is no secret that each wife is perceived as a bad cook even before being put to the test to prove the opposite. So you have to play it the right way. However, it is a double edged weapon. Do not impress your husband too much in a way that you cannot maintain in the future. Instead, start small and keep him anticipating and waiting for your creations. In every husband’s head, he knows that his wife is not a good cook, so he is willing to accept what she cooks and be impressed as well, so here is your chance, go for it!!

Back to our raw material, you can start with simple red sauce pasta and salad, but make sure you include lots of colors as it will indicate that you exerted a lot of effort in preparing it. Also do not forget to add the protein item, and this is easy and you can fry anything as a side dish. For the second day use a different shape of pasta along with a white sauce and basil that will add flavor to your plate. White sauce is always impressive and looks great on the table, so be sure you will score this time.

One of the other secret ingredients is “mushroom”, which is considered a royal yet mysterious ingredient as well. We men know it as a fungus with no taste. But wait until one of you beautiful ladies says the word “champignon” and we all just blindly fall in love with it. Add a touch of “champignon” to your pasta and he will go “wow, she can turn fungus into food and sound so hot when she says it too”.

Now you have a guide to a daily menu that will keep you on the winning side of this battle till your husband grows a fat belly. Once you start noticing that belly, a change in strategy is your next move in the new so-called “Diet Battle”. Talk your husband into a diet program to stay healthy and look great for the summer and you will end up dicing fruits and vegetables for the next two months and win yourself a peaceful retreat from the battle for food.

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