Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) is known as a role model and a guide for many people. Although it seems impossible to reach his level of kindness and gentleness, we can at least try to follow in his footsteps. Being a gentleman is something that never goes unappreciated, and it’s something we should teach our children; you can always tell that a man who treats women right was taught to do so from childhood.
There are basic acts that make a marriage work, and we believe that the Prophet (PBUH) marked them all. Being a gentleman to your wife is becoming increasingly scarce, and it’s something we believe should come back to fashion! Follow the Prophet’s (PBUH) example.
Prophet Muahmed (PBUH) believed that being kind to one’s wife is one of the most important things a man can do. He said “The best among you is the best towards his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives” (as told by Ibn Abbas). He always encouraged people to be kind to their wives and treat them with respect. He was even seen playing with them. One time he was traveling with Aishah and he asked her to race with him, she won. Years later after she had gained some weight, he asked her to race him again, he won and told her “Tit for tat” (as told by Aishah).
Understanding and Acceptance
A very important pillar of marriage is accepting one another and understanding what the other is going through. The Prophet (PBUH) was a great example of that. He once said “A believer must not hate a believing woman (his wife), if he dislikes one of her traits he will be pleased with another” (as told by Abu Hurairah). This shows that no two people are perfect for each other, and that tolerance is important.
The female anatomy scares some men until now in this day and age. Sometimes you would see grown men getting squeamish at the mention of a woman’s period. The Prophet (PBUH) accepted and loved his wives regardless of which time of the month it was. Aisha said that the Prophet (PBUH) would sleep in the same bed with her when she had her period, and if some blood came on to his clothes he would wash it then pray while wearing it as he regularly would.
“The best among you is the best towards his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives”
The Prophet (PBUH) had great respect for his wives and made it clear he wanted others to respect them as well. He used to have a Persian neighbor who was known for cooking great soup. So one day this neighbor invited the Prophet (PBUH) over to eat. Since Aisha – the Prophet’s (PBUH) wife – was present, the Prophet (PBUH) suggested that she should join them. When the neighbor declined, the Prophet (PBUH) refused to go. Only when the Persian man invited Aisha to come along did the Prophet (PBUH) agree to go (as told in Sahih Muslim).
No one would imagine the Prophet (PBUH) hitting a woman, but just in case that was not clear – especially at such different times – Aisha once made it very clear “never did the Prophet hit any of his wives”. This is an example that people should follow. It is the basic act of being a gentleman, and the Prophet (PBUH) made sure people knew and understood that.
Listening to your wife’s problems and even giving her advice when she faces an issue is a great pillar of marriage; take it from the Prophet (PBUH) himself. Here is the perfect example; Safiyya was the Prophet’s wife, but coming from Jewish origin, she got sarcastic comments every once in a while. She spoke to the Prophet (PBUH) about it, saying that it saddened her. And the Prophet (PBUH) told her to reply next time by saying “My father is the Prophet Aaron, my uncle is the Prophet Moses and my husband is, as you see, the Prophet Muhammed, the Chosen one. What do you have more than me to be proud of?” (as told in Sahih Al Tirmidhi)
The Prophet loved each of his wives in his own way. He was not embarrassed to say so or to show his love. He even used to say when talking about Khadijah “I was blessed with loving her” (as told in Sahih Muslim). When the Prophet (PBUH) was asked who he loved the most out of everyone he said “Aisha”.