- Having a baby early on can kill the romance
You waited so long to share the same roof with the man you adore. No more stolen kisses and back alleys to get it on. It’s all very legit now. So what do most newlyweds do instead of jumping each other’s bones, living it up and having the time of their life? They get pregnant during their first year. Babies are adorable but they are also a huge responsibility. Don’t listen to your well meaning parents that are dying for grandchildren. All in due time. The honeymoon shouldn’t end just because you’ve come back from the Bahamas.
- You should be on birth control long before the Wedding Night
Don’t be a fool and think that you probably won’t get pregnant on your honeymoon. Newsflash: of course you can and if you do, you won’t be happy about it. Of course people will critically warn against birth control because then “How on earth will you know if you can have children?” Feel free to throw that advice in the trash. Enjoy your first few years kids-free and test the water together. Are you happy together? Are you ready for a family? Are you happy with the status quo? Why the rush?
- When the Honeymoon is over…
Let’s see I wrote a book about this, I should have an idea. Don’t let the routine of life transform your hot relationship with your man into a lukewarm relationship based on an exchange of responsibilities. Keep your pretty lingerie, don’t gain weight. Make it a habit from the beginning to work on the marriage because there is a reason why so many married people are unhappy. They don’t put in the effort.
- You can fall in and out of love with each other several times
Shifts in emotions are extremely common. After long periods of fighting with hostility at its peak, divorce will seem like the only solution. It’s ugly, the parents get involved, the whole world knows you hate each other and then suddenly something magical happens. At the brink of ending it, you realize that it’s anger and not hate. It’s normal.
- Nobody is as happy or as miserable as they seem
For some reason couples like to fake it and not only in the bedroom. There are the “I can’t believe how wonderful my life is!” and the other “My life is one disaster after another”. Neither are 100% sincere. The former is usually over compensating an internal feeling of unhappiness by exaggerating marital bliss. The latter fears the evil eye more than death and suspects that if she says her life is going well, then she will automatically be stripped of all her privileges.
- You will still get attracted to other people
You got married. You didn’t die and so you will eventually get attracted to someone other than your spouse. That doesn’t mean that you will go off and cheat but when a gorgeous stranger stares your way, you will still blush and get tiny butterflies in your stomach and die to brag about it.
- You should make time for your friends
Don’t be that person that dedicates their whole life only to family and kids and then suddenly wakes up to a world of no friends. Your choice shouldn’t be this or that. They should complement each other because there will always be stuff that you can’t talk about except with your friends and there will be times when you want to break free of any responsibilities and kick back for a laugh with them.
Author of When the Honeymoon is over. We are more than proud to have May Taher as a regular columnist on board with us!