We love our very own Egyptian moms and we wouldn’t trade them for the world. Their quirks make them special. We suspect, however, that the list below is the basics handbook they were all given upon having their first child.
Computer screens will make you go blind = fact
“Stop staring at that computer screen, it’ll make you go blind”, is one of Egyptian moms’ favorite phrases. Again, they decide to throw science out the window. Somehow, computer screens are responsible for our deteriorating eyesight. And it won’t stop at that. No, it’ll go as far as to make us all blind.
Exams = Sandwiches
Not any sandwiches will do. No, exams are special. You get Roomy cheese in a Fino bread. You get it in a pyramid-shaped pile on a tray. And you finish it!
Keep your stomach warm
“But mom! Exposed midriffs are in and it’s the summer. Why can’t I wear that top?” says a teenager. Her Egyptian mom responds with professor-like certainty “because you’ll catch a cold”. Apparently Egyptian moms firmly believe that the main cause for any kind of cold is that you don’t keep your tummy warm. Not germs, not viruses and not food poisoning. That cropped top is the root of all evil.
I don’t care how old you are, tea with milk is what you’ll drink
The first thing you will drink in the morning is coffee? No, see rule number one. We honestly don’t understand how our mothers aren’t taking credit for every chai latte being sold in cafes now. We are almost certain – and no research is required for this – that our mothers invented it.
The Quality Street tin is recycled to an eternal knitting kit!
We’ve all had our share of joyful smiles turned into frowns when we rush to a Quality Street tin and discover it’s full of knitting tools… Seriously everytime!
“I never had a shebsheb thrown at me” Said no one ever
Apparently, this is an Egyptian mother’s favorite weapon of choice. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s always close. It’s not fancy so she wouldn’t worry about losing it. It doesn’t cause that much physical damage, so her conscience will be clear. And last but definitely not least, it’s the most humiliating thing to be thrown at anyone except for maybe a pair of underwear. We think that this sting of hurt pride is what they really aim for every time. “It’s okay, mom, my face is fine. My ego, however, is shattered.”
