Ghada Abdel Aal, was sitting on her laptop after a hectic day at work in 2008, when she decided to share some of her brainwaves in a blog, and few months later, her writings made her a published author to the bestseller ‘3ayza Atgawez’ that was translated into English, Italian, Dutch and German; and turned this year into a TV hit by our all time favorite Hend Sabry.
You’re a pharmacist, have you ever thought about getting published?
No never, but I always enjoyed reading various stuff. People liked my blog and suggested that I should get published, but I didn’t have any contacts, and people used to send me contacts of publishers but, I was struck by luck when Al Sherouk publishing house offered me to turn my blog into a book as they usually do with some bloggers, and that’s when it all started.
Are the stories in the book inspired by your own experiences?
Some of them, but most of the stories are a collection of other people’s experience. Some friends of mine, and their adventures to find a groom.
What happened? Why are there so many spinsters in Egypt?
I really don’t like the word ‘spinster’. I can’t say have you seen Mona my friend? Mona the spinster? Why should we use this word, I don’t even know why there is a ghost called ‘30’! There is always a label and there shouldn’t be that label of ‘spinster’ or she’s 30 and she’s single.
Ok, why there are many single women in Egypt?
I think that in our society, females develop faster than males; therefore, women aren’t satisfied with who they meet as they think that they’ve gone faster and better in their career and in their lives. A lot of women aren’t into men who are mama’s boys who grew up having everything done by their sisters. As a pharmacist, I observe in my workplace that managers pick women for most of the vacancies as they think that women would be more professional in abiding by working hours and won’t leave the office to chill with her friends.
Did you enjoy the series?
I wrote the script for the show, but I think that literature when transformed to drama won’t have the same artistic features, but yeah I liked the show.
In our eastern society, we can’t enjoy relationships as freely as in the West, we have to wait for marriage which creates a major problem in our romantic life, how does this affect us?
The difference between the east and the west is one thing, we view marriage as an only target, and they don’t. I have some friends who are 26, married with children; they achieved their target, and now what? They don’t find any other accomplishments to care for. In the west, marriage is a tool to complete one another, to be a productive couple. We don’t look at women to be career women we look at them to be mummy’s first and that’s not right, because women who are in their late twenties or early thirties and still single feel that they’re failures, they failed the mission that was assigned to them by society.
How could we be single and still enjoy it?
There are things you could care for like your career and other projects you have in mind. You should look for a certain hobby, and that every woman should have not because she’s single and wants to get distracted from this problem but because she’s human and not a cow and must have other stuff to care for. You should live your life as its your life and not a TV show.
What was the feedback on the book from European readers?
I was in Italy, Venice and Switzerland when the book was published, and was welcomed by Italians who were really impressed by how Arab women stand up, say ‘No’ and talk bluntly about their tribulations. They were really happy that they became to understand a part of Middle Eastern culture.
Did the book get you any grooms?
I didn’t write the book to get a groom, actually I live in El Mahala governorate and people around me don’t know that I wrote a book. What’s really funny that men are now afraid to come any nearer so as not to mention them in my next book (laughs).
My name is Passant; I’m 32 and 3ayza Atgawez!
Finding marriage is hard these days as both men and women are very picky when it comes to relationships. A few years ago, people used to focus on small criteria in choosing their future partner, today, the list is getting longer. People are chasing towards other aspects like career, money, and lots of other stuff, leaving marriage aside. If some woman would find a nice guy, she insists that he must be a socialite, cool and outgoing. One of my friends once asked me about a guy if he’s religious! Why should he be very religious? Another one would fear that if her partner was a cool, party animal ‘haysharadha’!
I want a normal guy, a man who’s responsible, outgoing, professional and open minded.
A woman shouldn’t be always obsessed about finding a man, that’s very silly. She must focus on ‘life’, meaning making others benefit from her life, engaging in social issues, doing creative stuff.
If I won’t get married ever, I will still be breathing. God created people who get married and people who don’t, he created the fat and the slim. Lots of people get married and get a divorce; others have children and throw them in the streets. Society became very judgmental, exaggerating the whole marriage thing, it’s too much drama!
My criticism towards ‘3ayza Atgawez’ is the contradiction between the message at the end and the flow of the plot. The message at the end says that marriage is ‘esma wa nassib’ (destiny), If she thinks it’s really like that, so why say ‘3ayza Atgawez’ and obsess about it?
My name is Hussein; I’m 34, and 3ayez Atgawez!
The criteria people take to select their future partners today is way different than before. Marriage isn’t necessary anymore, and divorce rate is very high. People are being shallow each and every day.
I will never forget the woman who told me that I’m a good guy, but unfortunately I don’t drive a BMW so I won’t be marriage material! I’m serious, I was told these words in the face and I unlocked the door and kicked her out of my car to take a cab home. She was a family friend and I didn’t care about the consequences, but that was really odd. Another woman I met told me that we could live in my mum’s house and my mum could move to a small flat of her own! Women look around and decide that they must have what their friends have or they will never be happy and satisfied. Comparison is a destructive tool, it’s more appearance than substance these days.
Marriage isn’t about complementing anymore, meaning, it’s not one partner who completes the other, it’s more of you do it, I’ll do it too, and so on. I’m fine with a woman who likes to hang out and chill with her friends but under the name of independence and not trying hard to prove me that she must live her life like I’m doing. I see lots of good girls who are over 30 and wearing the pants in the relationship, and by pants I mean cash. Yes lots of women handle the finances in the relationship. I don’t mind to get married to independent women, but I once saw a couple fighting right in front of me and the wife is telling her husband that he mustn’t forget what he used to be like a few years ago! That happens usually when a woman gets paid more than her partner.
