We assembled The Real DO’s and DON’Ts of Sex! It is the holiday season, and even if you are not one to engage or care about the festivities, you cannot miss the array of romantic Christmas movies where couples’ disputes are romantically solved in a fun way. They all make relationships, and even more importantly, sex and intimacy seem natural and easy! Everyone knows what to say or what to do to make it to the simultaneously climactic orgasm. It makes us all wonder sometimes, is there something wrong with me? My partner? Or do we just do it wrong?
Rest assured, what we see around us in movies, magazines, and perfect commercials is not reality. We all have doubts, and we all sometimes feel like, is this it? That is why we assembled The Real DO’s and DON’Ts of Sex! A nice kick off into the festive season and the new year!
The First DO is Always, Always Take Your Time!
Do not think that quickly going through sex between your children’s training or before you fall asleep dead is deep or mind-blowing intimacy! It will feel like a chore we must go through, so we cross our Ts and Dot our I’s. Take your time to get into the mood, give your receptors time to wake up, and be able to receive and enjoy women, unlike men, who need time to get into the I am ready to receive pleasure mode. We do not have an ON button that gets us to go! This also brings me to my First DON’T!
DON’T Rush!
Take your time. Do not be skimpy on the foreplay and devour the experience!
Please DO Use Lubricant!
Using lubricant always stresses men and women alike. There is a misconception that if you use lubrication, the sex is not good, or women are not turned on enough! Why not see it as a tool? It makes less friction, and therefore you can go on for longer without discomfort or becoming raw! So please, please DO use lubricant!
DON’T Follow Weird Trends or Get Sex Advice from Unreliable Social Media Sources!
You do not get a longer erection from having some insect sting you before sex, but you could get a seriously dangerous allergic reaction, nor does using vaginal discharge as a perfume make you irresistible to your partner!
DO Start with Easy and Comfortable Positions
If you are still a newlywed or you have not been doing this for long, try comfortable positions like missionary, and switch to being on top. Over time, you get more confident, try different and more complicated positions.
DON’T Get the Kamasutra Out
Then expect to immediately try out positions that would require you to be a trained gymnast, and get disappointed when it does not work!
DO Talk, Guide, Let Him Know What You Like
Give positive affirmation, be dirty if that is what you and your partner are into! But keep it positive, DON’T give negative feedback or critique during the sexual encounter, wait till a moment where you are both relaxed and in a good mood, and always start with a positive twist to what you are going to say, “remember when you? We could try next time to do so instead. Do not point fingers, but start with “I felt when you” and so on. This being said, DO stop anything that hurts you and DON’T get forced into anything you do not want to do or are not ready for yet! This can also be said constructively, for instance, “I currently feel, but maybe later on I could”.
DO Try to Relax and Push Negative Thoughts Away
So, you can receive pleasure without blockages, DON’T concentrate on just penetration or I must orgasm. Enjoy the journey its yours, you own it; your story and sex life are different from anyone else’s, and it’s a never-ending journey where you learn every day how to navigate new things and new life phases.
Your Story
Your sex life is not a scene or a moment shot from a movie; it is a multilayered experience, and its result is dependent on everything going on with you, your partner, and your surroundings.
Going into the festive season, take a moment to step back, take it all in, reflect, and make some New Year’s resolutions and check the DO’s and DON’Ts of sex, to decide to DO better in this department and with it improve your relationship as a whole!