It’s inevitable for some people to accidentally bump into the friend zone. In fact, some people are labeled “Friend zone material” while others are “Dating material”. Before we get further into this rather interesting topic, let’s first define “The Friend Zone” for those who aren’t familiar with the term.
Wikipedia defines the friend zone as: “Commonly known as the Ninth Circle of Hell; is a dating term describing a Situation in which one partner wants to be romantically intimate while the other prefer to be just friends.”
I myself have been friend zoned a lot in my life, and while some may say that when you are friend zoned you can never undo it, I would strongly disagree. Most of the time, the old find-out-things-he/she-loves-and-do-them trick usually works when trying to un-friend zone yourself. Other times, you can try another classic move, inspired by the well-known phrase: “Leave the girl and she’ll love you, love the girl and she’ll leave you”, when you slowly and intentionally minimize your attention to him/her and make them realize that they are missing a huge part of their lives in your absence, and if you’re smart enough, their emotions and too much thinking will bring them to you.
If all of the above still doesn’t work, you should start using the more modern and advanced tricks. Like playing a psychological game making him/her think about being with you, imagining the both of you as an item. For example, tell him/her that you wouldn’t want to take any actions because it would eventually ruin the friendship, that you’d rather have him/her as your best friend than get into a relationship. If things go wrong at some point, you’ll lose each other as lovers and as friends too. This is a tricky game, because once you admit your feelings to someone, it either triggers a hidden feeling or it doesn’t. It’s like a mind game, like taking candy away from a kid, makes it want the candy even more! You see, the one thing that terrifies friends who have potential of hooking up together is losing the friendship forever if the relationship ends at some point in the future.
There are many benefits of being in the friend zone, you’re always the one to come to for help, comfort and advice. There are also some cons to the friend zone, you can sometimes become a little bit too over protective which usually bothers the other friend, sometimes, or most of the time, you are asked for advice regarding some other person, as in relationship and dating advice. You can never get too intimate with a friend, otherwise it becomes awkward. Unless you are friends with benefits, but that’s a whole other story, maybe I should write an article about that.
One slightly big problem with the friend zone, and in this part, I will write from a man’s point of view, because yes well, I’m a man. The problem is that, the lady sometimes doesn’t know what she wants. You’d be friends with her for years, and when your feelings change, and start growing towards her, you naturally start giving her a little bit more attention, and naturally, she likes the attention, and hence she gives you certain vibes that give you the impression that she is open to un-friend-zoning you and taking the friendship to another level.
This in turn gives you an ignition spark to start initiating the topic with her, which usually goes something like this:
“Hey, I need to talk to you about something”,
“What’s up?”
“There’s this thing I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now, it’s been going on for some time and I can’t hold it in anymore….”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you that…. I’ve been having some feelings towards you and ………”
And so on, but then after you confess about your feelings, which came as quite a surprise to her. The unfortunate response then becomes: “Honey, I’m so sorry if I gave you wrong signs, I actually wasn’t giving you any signs I don’t know how you thought so. But as much flattered as I am I just don’t think that’s the right thing to do, you’re like a best friend to me”, and the rest of the heartbreaking response; or she would start getting nervous and mad at you, depends on where she is on the Crazy-Hot scale.
In both cases, the outcome of such a conversation ends in complete awkwardness between the two friends, they might also stop talking and seeing each other for a while, and then eventually the tension fades out and either they become old friends, or normal friends, or not at all.
But this is when you realize that you have been fooled, and I am quite sure that many people would relate to that certain situation. Makes you want to scream “MAKE UP YOUR MIND WOMAN!”
Cheers!