Looking well groomed is something that only comes effortlessly to naturally blonde Scandinavians who have a gene pool that might as well have been created by the fashion and beauty industry. As for the rest of the world, we need to pluck, primp, wax, tweeze, bleach, exfoliate and moisturize before we are fit to walk out and start meeting people. So we aren’t going to argue the importance of self-maintenance on a relationship because there can hardly be any tolerance for a guy with body odor or a girl who is growing out here mustache.
It’s icky and no matter how gorgeous you are, if your grooming rituals aren’t up to standard, the possibility that you’ll wind up dumped on the corner are inevitable or even worse – your partner confronts you with the problem. Getting dumped is probably a better option than listening to an inquiry about the last time you bleached. At least with the first option,l you can walk away with some dignity left.
“The minute you find yourself feeling totally okay sharing a sofa to watch a movie togteher while you wax your legs, that’s when you know you have bordered on dangerous territory.”
The only time the consequences of proper grooming are damaging to a relationship is when familiarity settles in between couples and you no longer feel the urge to make your business private. The minute you find yourself feeling totally okay sharing a sofa to watch a movie together while you wax your legs, that’s when you know you have bordered on dangerous territory. That dangerous place where any traces of shyness are gone and public nose picking, farting and burping become “natural”. It’s that place where the mystery is gone and the need to blush is a thing of the past.
“To put my words to the test, ask a man about his favorite porn star. Whoever she is, she is no doubtly hairless, smooth and boasts a rear end that is as clear as your face after a facial.”
It is the fastest and surest way to kill the romance early on. And even if you only wanted to feel comfortable enough with your partner that you could shamelessly say or do anything you wanted in each other’s presence, you are deluding yourself. To put my words to the test, ask a man about his favorite porn star. Whoever she is, she is no doubtly hairless, smooth and boasts a rear end that is as clear as your face after a facial. There was probably even a big grin on his face when you asked him to recall her name. But if your guy got a look at her removing her underarm hair or getting an anal bleach (can you believe they actually do that?) you would find that grin get wiped off his smug face as quickly as it had come on.
The same applies to the men in our lives too. If you swoon the minute he takes off his shirt on the beach but feel a bit surprised that across his miles of muscle there is not a single hair to be found – he’s shaven it off. He wants to show off his months of effort on the gym and he is not about to let body hair stand between him and impressing the pants off of you. You will however stop swooning and start puking if he readily admits it or worse – decides to tell you about his preferred method of hair removal.
What? You shave your chest? Yes.
That doesn’t sound very manly. It’ not the only thing I shave. oh God! Please stop! I don’t want to know!
“I do not want my husband or boyfriend to be my best friend. I want him to be my lover.”
It’s a very basic lesson. Some things are just better kept private and I was recently reminded of a very eloquent belief of French women, when my friend’s husband, to our horror, shamelessly farted and laughed about it. it goes something like this “I do not want my husband or boyfriend to be my best friend. I want him to be my lover.” Yup! That’s lover with a capital L. They do not want to break down the boundaries between men and women in an effort to create a sense of intimacy. Au contraire. Secrets should be kept, boundaries should be created and familiarity should be shot through the heart if there is ever a chance for romance to survive!
May Taher is the Author of When the Honeymoon is over. We are more than proud to have May Taher as a regular columnist on board with us!
Follow her on Instagram @may_taher
