A marriage is a partnership. Like any partnership, it can be a good, healthy, fulfilling, successful one, or it can be the opposite. A partnership is initially built by two people who come together with a common goal. In a marriage, this goal is to build a family and share a life together. Somewhere along the way, we fall apart. Even though our goal is the same, the roads we choose to reach this goal may differ, and that is simply due to miscommunication or a conflict in our core values.
Imagine a partner who values transparency, and another who values care. When put in a situation where one needs to express anger, the partner who values care will avoid being harsh by playing around with words. While the partner who values transparency and honesty will avoid sugarcoating their words by saying it as it is. The result is that both partners get hurt. The partner who values care will perceive their partner’s transparency as harshness, and the partner who values transparency will perceive their partner’s way as manipulative.
When you trust your partner you can accept, what relationship experts Gottman and Gottman refer to as: their influence on you
Trust is a fundamental part of any successful partnership. Trusting your partner in a marriage is crucial. This entails: trusting that they will be there for you whenever and wherever you need them, trusting them to do the right thing for your family, and being reliable. When you trust your partner you can accept, what relationship experts Gottman and Gottman refer to as: their influence on you.
As a partner in this marriage, the success of my family is directly related to the success of my partner
Although we are two separate individuals sharing a common life and goal, we still have our individual dreams and differences. These dreams are what gives us a sense of meaning and purpose in life. As a partner in this marriage, the success of my family is directly related to the success of my partner. Moreover, part of the differences between us is that we have different strengths. So, respecting our differences means that we will capitalize on our combined strengths, leading to a stronger partnership. In a partnership, no partner has the capacity to do everything, so our shared effort, with our particular strength, is a reminder that we complement each other, rather than compete against each other.
So, to sum things up, to turn a marriage into a strong successful partnership that will last for years and yield a positive outcome, you need to:
- Determine the goal of a marriage.
- Enhance positive communication.
- Identify and understand each partner’s core values.
- Build trust and accept influence from each other.
- Support each other’s dreams
- Respect your differences/ agree to disagree
And last but not least, finding a common activity to share with your partner will make your marriage a friendship and this is the best kind of partnership.
Rasha Salama is a relationship counselor with a Bachelor in Psychology and Masters in Counseling Psychology from AUC. Rasha has always had a passion for travelling and enjoys new adventures. In 2017, she founded the RE, the first couple retreat service in the Middle East with the aim of helping couples enhance their relationships.