Being a follower of multiple relationships groups and an avid subscriber to eavesdropping, I have come to understand that there is an ongoing controversy concerning financial commitments’ queues between married couples. Unfortunately, the dilemma is always arising between extremists who defend their approach wholeheartedly with no happy medium in the middle of the crowd. Even if this mindset exists, its voice will probably be very humble given that it will be a minority in the middle of the growing extremism majority within our social entourage.
“The man should pay the bills, the maids, the doorman, the supermarket, the car gas and the facial you had done to allegedly remove your black heads!”
Zozo Nasa7a:
Zozo will advise you to never share the financial burden with your husband. She will tell you again and again that a real man should take care of all the financial commitments of the house from the needle to the rocket! The man should pay the bills, the maids, the doorman, the supermarket, the car gas and the facial you had done to allegedly remove your black heads! Zozo is a know-it-all. She is all experienced when it comes to the affairs of cash. Even if she works and has her own money, she will never – even if her partner is struggling – help him in anyway whatsoever!
Advice to Zozo:
Have some mercy please! I hope you realize that you are married to a human being, not some kind of an ATM. Being selfish when the foundation of marriage is sharing is really astounding, especially coming from an urban modern Egyptian woman that we try to portray ourselves as. I personally believe that the amount of happiness in any relationship is tied to the level of compassion between the partners, not the level to which one is stretching himself to fulfill the needs of the so-called princess he married. I am flabbergasted by the replies I see from many young ladies scolding their peer women for assisting financially to achieve the well-being of the household.
“I personally believe that the amount of happiness in any relationship is tied to the level of compassion between the partners, not the level to which one is stretching himself to fulfill the needs of the so-called princess he married.”
Note to #Zozo_Nasa7a:
Please refrain from jumping to the other extreme I am about to discuss as if it is the solution to the above problem! Moderation is key here; we need to all embrace the concept of leading a balanced healthy life which I will get to towards the end of my ramblings.
“She takes care of so much since her husband’s salary is probably the same or smaller than hers.”
Mahitab the Martyr:
Mahitab here has probably married someone whom she knows from the start cannot run a house on his own money. She probably also knows that he cannot afford her gifts, outings and branded clutches. However, Mahitab decided to marry the guy anyways! God knows why, maybe she was longing to being called “Mrs” (which is definitely a contemporary disease in our society), or she needed to explore the potential. So, Mahitab is paying probably all her salary to support the house. She takes care of so much since her husband’s salary is probably the same or smaller than hers. The problem here is that he is probably paying more than half of his salary to provide installments for the house they live in, the electronics they bought, the wedding they had and the honeymoon they went on.
Advice to Mahitab:
Why Mahi? Why? Why marry someone who is so stretched, pay all your salary to fill in the gap and then complain about it? This has been a forthcoming phase in your relationship that you should have known will require struggling and faith to go through. Usually, the first couple of years of marriage are the hardest. I am not saying it is okay to act as if you are the breadwinner of the house for life, but this scenario should have been in the back of your head while you planned your “happily ever after”.
“I am not saying it is okay to act as if you are the breadwinner of the house for life, but this scenario should have been in the back of your head while you planned your “happily ever after”.”
Note to Mahitab:
The solution is neither to stop helping financially, nor to get a divorce! The solution is for the two of you to sit together and come up with a clear understanding of your monthly dues, how long you need to get them settled, how you can get them settled together and how you will be able to sustain the happiness and stability of the relationship in the middle of an ongoing financial dilemma.
“Nobody can sit outside a glass window and sneak-peek into your life before starting to vomit advice all over your personal space.”
I believe that nobody is in anybody else’s shoes. Nobody can sit outside a glass window and sneak-peek into your life before starting to vomit advice all over your personal space. I hope I do not lead someone unintentionally to one road or another, and I also hope that I am able to shed some light on the current pressure put on men to provide for all the needs of their homes, wives and children, while their women work, which is frankly ridiculous to me. Any wife with compassion and a decent mindset should be able to decide what she can do to help out her man so that he does not end up coming every night at 9 pm from work to eat and sleep like he is some kind of a slave. The keyword here is not “love”, it is “compassion”.
Freelance Writer
PHR Talent Management and Acquisition Specialist
Twitter: @GinaInani