The first thing that probably comes to mind when you hear “legacy” is how impactful your life decisions will be after you depart. We obsess over achieving that next milestone, that big raise, or that one jerk move which can earn us the corner office. Now let me tell you a short story about a random guy called Adam.
Adam is a dad. He wakes up everyday determined to do everything he can to provide a certain standard of living for his family. One day he woke up late for a meeting, wore his boxers inside out, mismatched socks, and with his coat over his shoulder trotted out of the house. As he drove away his daughter came running down the stairs. “Wait, wait” she said, but he had already left. She turned to her mom “He forgot to give me a goodbye hug.” She called him saying “you left without giving me a hug”, he anxiously replied “I am sorry sweetheart, I really had to run”, “It is okay”, she answered. She gulped down her breakfast, wore her shoes, picked up her school bag and started to walk out the door. As she climbed down the steps Adam’s car came to a stop outside the house. He got out of the car, “I am sorry I forgot”, he said as he picked her up and hugged her; her face lit up with the warmest smile.
Ten years later, no one would remember he was late for that meeting, but his daughter would never ever forget that her father drove all the way back home just to hug her goodbye!
Dads often have very little time to spare, and that is totally understandable. Thankfully though, the daddy wizards of the worlds had a big meeting to discuss this issue and figured out a time-dilation spell. Inspired by how the slow motion effect of the Baywatch TV show makes it more “interesting” they decided to call this trick the “quality over quantity” spell, and here is how it works:
1- Wake up 15 to 30 minutes early to have a warm beverage together, better yet, fix breakfast; get them involved in the prepping. Eat, talk and laugh. Most importantly, set intentions for the day.
2- Every once in a while ditch the school bus and drop your kids to school. Play some old school hits and sing. Try getting them involved with your personal issues, you will be surprised how they find simple solutions to the most complex of issue. If you’re looking for a fun challenge try making them laugh, its fascinating how attentive you need to be to tap into their sense of humor.
3- If you want to be a superhero do something you are uncomfortable doing and tag them along. We all praise that failure is only part of the journey as long as you keep on trying, it’s okay to venture into the unknown.
4- All forms of expression are a form of art. Singing, dancing, sketching, painting, acting, photography, music, poetry. Find new ways to help you both express, you’ll be surprised how much suppressed emotions you both have.
5- Read together, this creates a lifetime bond over creative thinking, imagination and beautifully narrated life lessons.
6- Last and probably my personal favorite is putting the kids to bed. Even if I don’t see them all day I make sure that those 5 minutes are special. We each take rounds saying 3 gratitudes, these can include people, friends, family, or experiences. It sets the mood for a perfect night and helps you ground your thoughts and mind.
Funny thing about legacy is that it cant be forced. Just like a stone causing ripples on a lake, legacy starts strongest with your direct family and expands to your extended social circles. The harder the initial impact the further the ripple will travel, even beyond time. To sum up.. Just ditch the ipad dads and get your inner kid out to play, the one that would make the most out of any 5 minutes.