We thought we owned the world at the age of 20 and God we were so wrong! In my conversations I have with my bffs we always feel that our best years were stolen from us. We keep indulging in nostalgia about how things used to be (yes, we are at that stage now!) and how everything used to be so much simpler, cheaper, more accessible and less likely to cause us migraines. You see, we were created this way; to become rather procrastinating beings and focus an awesome megapixled zoom on everything that has changed or altered. But how about we scrutinize this big time?
- More friends, I guess?
- Better toned figure: no kids, breastfeeding, stretch marks or cellulite
- Less stress: not much responsibility towards others and merely focused on trying to make it alone alive
- Less technology: hence less complexity of social interactions
- Much easier to create fashion sense with a smaller focused range of options
- More time for myself
- More friends than 20s, more meaningful friendships than 20s (man we have been through a lot together!)
- Cellulite, stretch marks, you name it. And I am indeed still struggling with pregnancy overweight leftovers – but take this: I am more likely to wear whatever the heck I want regardless what people think! I have a word for this- FREEDOM!
- More stress: indeed, I’m accountable for myself as well as others, sometimes even accountable for my own parents. Even if sometimes it feels like too much, it still gives life meaning. I am more useful.
- More technology: yes, and I choose to IGNORE whatever technology platforms I want. And for the ones that I am actually on, I have developed the indifference to shut away the people I still don’t want to interact with.
- Much harder to make fashion sense, yes! But there are mom pants now and boyfriend pants and on my best day I can even wear my husband’s hoodies and be an oversized soccer mom! Because I don’t bother about the audience and rather focus on how I feel inside the outfit. I have a word for this: INDIVIDUALISM.
- Less time for myself: yes, way less! But honestly it has made me use that “me time” much more than previously. I now think of awesome things to do rather than sit on the couch and watch free cable. I read, I write, I walk, I cook horrible recipes and I shop for things that I wouldn’t have thought of buying 5 mins ago.
You see, the 30s are not all about how much you have gotten older, become more responsible or suffer from new accountabilities. We just need to zoom OUT! To see the things that have changed for the better, to embrace how much we have grown into awesome people that are worthy of awesome husbands, awesome kids, awesome homes, awesome jobs, awesome friends and awesome achievements. If at the age of 20 you thought you were supposed to be in a particular spot by 30 and you are not there yet, think again! Maybe you should change your plan, maybe you have gotten to an even better place than you thought. We – Egyptian women and girls – are put under so much damn pressure to have it all figured out so early in our lives and 30 is a perfect age to figure whatever you want out. It is a great age to revisit your decisions, to even go through the people you think are close to you and wonder if they are still earning this spot or need to be shuffled. It is perfectly fine for you to be selfish at times because you are human and you cannot 100% of the time put all the needs of others and the world above yours. I personally struggle with that and I keep reminding myself that nobody else is going to babysit my insecurities for me, nobody can visualize the madness in my head or how the road looks when I am driving alone in the car at night with the stereo beating so loud so it covers the voices inside my head, nobody!
And because nobody is in your shoes and nobody is shopping for shoes, learn to celebrate the little things before the big things. Because the big things take big times to happen but the little things happen every day. Celebrate yourself with a new look, I just got my nose pierced last month and I have wanted to do this for so long and I feel awesome about it! Just paint your toes green and get some pink highlights, screw the status quo and the norm, nobody created history by playing it safe! 30 is the new 20 because:
You have more freedom, even at your darkest most restricted moment you do!
You are more independent, unless you choose not to be and that’s perfectly your own choice.
You have now been through many things that have proved to you who is worthy of your time and friendship.
You are a mother, you have a career, you have a hobby, and you have a string to follow.
You should not be afraid of making decisions anymore. Make wrong decisions, it doesn’t matter, but make them your own mistakes, nobody else’s.
And when fate decides to take a blow at you and throw you under a bad turn, get up. Not because life is brilliant and tomorrow is definitely a sweeter day, get up because this too shall pass and you can make it pass! Your 30s are a great age to enjoy your life so you would better enjoy it instead of spending your 30s crying over your 20s and your 40s crying over your 30s and wondering why you cried your 20s over in your 30s when your 30s were your best years!