It happened when I was 11 years old. I am 32 years old now and just trying to write about it makes me shake. He was my school teacher and he was tutoring me. Then it happened. I wasn’t really aware of what was happening. But I knew right then something bad just took place.
I blamed myself for it. I blamed my t-shirt, maybe it was too provocative. Maybe it was me that made him feel he can do that to me and get away with it. I haven’t told anyone about it. I was afraid my mom would be disappointed. I stopped going out with my friends. I spent most of my time alone in my room. I didn’t believe I was good enough to hang out with other kids my age. I didn’t deserve to be treated like one of them. I was no longer pure like they were.
A huge part of who I was changed that day. And for better or for worse it shaped who I am today. I lived with it for about 25 years till I was able to speak up and resort to counseling. What sucks the most is that he was never held accountable for it. Till this day I am in constant fear of running into him somewhere.
I am sorry I am unable to provide more details. It’s still very painful for me to try and talk about it.
BuSSy is a performing arts project that documents and gives voice to censored untold stories about gender in different communities in Egypt. The project organizes storytelling workshops and performances where women and men step on stage to share stories about harassment, rape, gender discrimination, honor killing, forced marriage, Female genital mutilation, motherhood, domestic violence, child abuse, mass sexual assaults and many others, from different communities and cities in Egypt.