“While you enjoy Barcelona, I have Vomit, Mud and Juice Spilled on Me!” A Letter from a Young Mum to her Single Friends

“While you enjoy Barcelona, I have Vomit, Mud and Juice Spilled on Me!” A Letter from a Young Mum to her Single Friends

 

Have you noticed the increase in all these posts on Social Media about getting married at a young age? Have you seen all the personalized statuses about how sad it is to start your family life early, and what we, married women, are missing on? I have, and let me tell you I am not happy. Simply because all these single ladies out there, who attack young married women, do not know what they are missing out on!

“She was upset her friend was unable to join on a night out at a famous club; and that she missed out on their trip to Barcelona”

A few days back I read one long status from a single lady, feeling terribly sorry for her best friend who got married and had a child. She was upset her friend was unable to join on a night out at a famous club; and that she missed out on their trip to Barcelona, and how she struggled during their Ramadan gathering because her daughter refused to sit down and ended the night by spilling juice all over her. I read the status and smiled. It basically described my life for the past six years.

“For a minute, I wanted to cry my eyes out, remembering all these amazing trips I couldn’t go on, and the countless times I missed gatherings”

For a minute, I wanted to cry my eyes out, remembering all these amazing trips I couldn’t go on, and the countless times I missed gatherings. That’s not to mention the number of times I had juice, soup, vomit, spit, mud and unspecified liquids flung at me. I did not cry though, I smiled instead.

My dear single friend, do not feel sorry for me; for I don’t. Remember when you went on your trip to beautiful Barcelona? Your friend was here enjoying the worst pain of her entire life; she was bringing her daughter to life. While you were taking pictures in this beautiful country, she was enduring all this pain for one beautiful smile that she wouldn’t trade for the world. Worth missing out on the trip, don’t you think?

“She took her daughter to her mother, who made sure to tell her that she is an inadequate mother for leaving her own daughter to “run around” with her friends”

Remember the opening of this new hit club that everyone agreed to go to, and your friend did not make it although she promised that she will come? Well, she meant to come. She took her daughter to her mother, who made sure to tell her that she is an inadequate mother for leaving her own daughter to “run around” with her friends. She managed to convince her husband to spare those 500EGP, promising she will save them from next month’s salary. She got all dressed up and ready to move, when her mom called her and told her to come back because her daughter is not feeling well. Your friend had to rush back home and take her daughter to the doctor. She ended up getting all this vomit over her freshly painted toes and new skirt. Do not sit there pity your friend, no outing, no friend, and no new skirts come even close to her daughter’s health.

Do you know, with all the economic and financial crises Egypt is going through, how hard it is to start a family, let alone keep one running? Do you know how many hours a day your friend has to drive around terrible traffic between work, her daughter’s training, the supermarket, her in-laws, and her parents’ house? You would think “she should forget about her job and focus on being a parent”. I have heard several single ladies condemn working mothers, labelling them bad parents because they also choose to work. Your friend wants to lie around and take it easy, but she has to pay her share to keep the house running. She needs her job to support her husband. She can not afford to sit back and relax, because she has a daughter who goes to school that costs an arm and a leg. The club, the birthdays, the tutor, the clothes, the medicine, the list never ends.

She does that with love, she does not hate her life. She enjoys every bit of it. She will gladly wake up every single morning and put on her work face and work all day, and return home to try to get some peace and quiet. Only for her to end up working double, doing homework, playing with her daughter, trying to put her to sleep and then trying to be a wife!

“While you are out there trying to decide on what to wear or where to go, we are in here making sure the future is brighter”

Yes, we young mothers sometimes crack and cry. Yes, we sometimes need an hour alone. And yes, we sometimes pray to god that our kids grow a little faster so we can enjoy life, the way you do now. No, we would not replace this “crappy life” with anything else. No, we do not wish for time to go back, and we can not imagine any better life. While you are out there trying to decide on what to wear or where to go, we are in here making sure the future is brighter. We are all in our households, trying to make a living, loving every single minute of it. We have husbands, companions, a shoulder to cry on, a friend in need and a go-to person when happy and when sad. One little smile from our children makes everything better. Our beloved single friend, don’t feel sorry for us, for we are living the best years of or lives and we would never want to replace them.

 

 

Nora Moustafa

Operations Head

Marwa Fayed’s Toy Run

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