As hard as it is to write on this subject, I decided to give it a try. I don’t know where this will take me, but I hope that it can touch the heart of a parent, teacher or even a complete stranger.
We all talk about harassment in the streets; women being touched and verbally abused, which are of course horrible things to experience, but we rarely bring up the subject of child abuse. It is obviously happening in our homes and schools where kids are beaten up brutally, verbally insulted and sexually molested by their parents, teachers or even friends. Yet, they remain silent. This is the ugly truth.
“How would a kid go to his parents telling them “someone sexually touched and played with my private parts today”? And how would a parent be able to hear such killing fact?”
If we want to live in a safe environment, we better start to clean up our homes, conscious and behaviors first. Kids get physically, verbally and sexually abused and never dare to talk about it. How would a kid go to his parents telling them “someone sexually touched and played with my private parts today”? And how would a parent be able to hear such killing fact? And what if one of the parents is actually the one who has brutally touched his kid, whether physically, verbally or even sexually? I was one of those kids and never knew what to do, who to speak with, or where to go. I was so afraid and angry that I could not say a word. Afraid to be abused more and find no one to speak with, and afraid that nobody was ready or open enough to hear me.
Parents always believe that it will never happen to their kids, but the truth is that they just turn a blind eye to the subject because they cannot handle it. It is a heavy burden to carry. I know that and I am not blaming them either. However, it is time to face it and start being alert about what is going on in our kids’ lives.
What frightens me the most about sexual abuse is that it is usually occurs at the hands of someone the child knows and should be able to trust — most often close relatives or family member. And contrary to popular belief, it’s not just girls who are at risk. Boys and girls both suffer from sexual abuse. In fact, sexual abuse of boys may be underreported due to shame and guilt.
“contrary to popular belief, it’s not just girls who are at risk. Boys and girls both suffer from sexual abuse. In fact, sexual abuse of boys may be underreported due to shame and guilt.”
Let me just tell you how it feels like to be abused as a kid. It hurts physically and emotionally. It starts with a complete lose of consciousness and ends up with an empty hole in the victim’s soul. Kids feel unworthy, low self-esteem and hatred for their own body. It affects how abused kids or grown-ups perceive themselves and others. Children feel guilty about the incident and feel responsible for making it happen. They have difficulties as adults in sexual and intimate relationships. With all these physical and physiological effects, the worst part is that it takes a lot of hard work to fill in and heal such an empty hole again.
The funny part is that parents and kids, coming out of abusive relationships whether they were the abuser or abused, tend to forget completely about such incidents. They act as if it never happened and never dare to touch or get closer to their wounds. It hurts and we know deep down that we cannot do anything about it.
So what to do? Just bury it as if it never happened. I have always wished there was somewhere to go, or someone to go to just to talk about it and to understand and learn how to deal with it.
It is hard to see kids being beaten up, insulted and sexually touched by the closest human being to their heart; their teachers, and even their close friends. That is not how we want to raise our kids, but we obviously do harm our kids by touching them and abusing them physically, verbally and sexually.
“Make them know that it is not okay to be beaten up, insulted or touched by anyone.”
Unfortunately in such an ignorant environment, we can do very little about it. Yet, I pray to God to protect all our kids. I also beg all parents to keep a close eye on their children, and if they have ever touched their kids by any means, to have the guts to apologies and talk about it. Make them know that it is not okay to be beaten up, insulted or touched by anyone. Ask them to speak up if this has ever happened to them, and have the courage to deal with it together with your children. The earlier abused kids get help, the greater chance they can heal and recover.
Dina Hegazi is a certified Reiki Master – Teacher who completed her degrees in Usui Reiki natural healing system. Dina is also a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner who completed her NLP studies in the UK and trained by Richard Bandler (co-creator of NLP). In her professional and personnel life, Dina is a corporate lawyer and a single mother with one beautiful daughter. Energy healing and NLP help her to find work-life balance and empower her to find joy and happiness in all aspects of her life.