Being a stepmom is never easy, trying to get on the children’s good side, while still retaining their respect isn’t a simple task. There’s a thin line between making them hate or love you. Here are a few tips to become a cool stepmom!
Don’t Ask them to Call you Mom!
This is the biggest no-no for new stepmoms. When you become the stepmother, you are basically shattering all their hopes of their parents getting back together. So the last thing you want to do is try to replace their mom.
Let the Children Dictate the Relationship
Don’t try to get too close too soon. Let the children decide how close they want to get to you and when, but let them know that you are available and welcoming.
“There’s a thin line between making them hate or love you.”
Befriend the Mom
Although this isn’t always easy, it is the most important. Befriending the mom will take you 10 steps ahead. She will give you tips on how to get close to them since she knows them best. Not only that, but the children will see you as a friend rather than an enemy.
Pick your Battles
More times than not, the kids will try to annoy you, be rude or disrespect you. At this point, you need to decide what is worth the battle and involving their father. You don’t want to involve him in every fight; don’t be a tattle-tale.
Be Nice but don’t Bend Rules
Give them an extra scoop of ice cream, but don’t push their curfew. You want them to like you, not take advantage of you. Keep in mind that they won’t like you to start with, so you need to be careful.
“The last thing you want to do is try to replace their mom.”
Fun Day Out
Every now and then you should plan a fun day out just you and the kids. Find out what it is that they like and enjoy doing and work off of that. Try to find something super fun that they haven’t done before, this is something they will definitely appreciate.
This is especially important if they are teenagers, give them space and time with just them and their father. Make an excuse why you can’t make it to Friday’s outing every now and then. They deserve their father’s undivided attention and that could give them the chance to maybe miss you.