With a lovely picture from the cartoon Up in the background, or an old couple holding hands on a bench in a garden, or maybe a black and white photo of a man tying his wife’s shoe, Egyptians have set their relationship goals. I have been watching single ladies, ladies in relationships, or even married ladies declare that this is their dream of a relationship all over Social Media platforms. I read them, and smile. Really, women? Is this your ideal relationship image? Are you only looking for a man to tie your shoes? I am not saying it doesn’t look glamorous and sexy. I am not saying I wouldn’t want my hubby to tie my shoes. I am just wondering, what would that say about our relationship? Remember, a fatonista is sexy and curvy and amazing, but she is also a wife, a mother, and a career woman. I would say my relationship goals look a bit different.
I wake up at 6:30am everyday, having slept the night before at 3:00am. Too tired to remove my makeup, every single strand of hair is flying, framing my “panda face”. I sit on the bed and start waking my hubby up. He opens his eyes, takes a look at this messy panda sitting in front of him, smiles and tells me how much he loves me! Well, I don’t want a man that ties my shoes, but I definitely want a man that thinks I am gorgeous no matter how messy I look. This has got to be on the top of my relationship goals.
“Your husband comes in and sees how you look and decides that today you will eat out, have some leftovers, or even better just have some cheese and bread. I think this is an important goal.”
Another example would be having lunch at home. With the upbeat lifestyle we live in, long working hours that both my hubby and I spend at the office, long commutes we have to take everyday in Cairo traffic, we never have lunch at home, or together. I would love for one day to come back home at a decent time and cook a meal, sit down on the same table and eat it. I am OK if this happens at 6:00 pm; we’ll call it lunch.
Speaking of food! On days when you have to run around doing errands for your home, your kids, and your job, only to finally reach home and remember that you have nothing to eat. Your husband comes in and sees how you look and decides that today you will eat out, have some leftovers, or, even better, just have some cheese and bread. I think this is an important goal.
“Don’t be fooled by the Photoshopped image of love.”
Going out with your husband, and actually enjoying it, is a huge goal. Leaving your kids at your parents’ house and going out to the movies, grabbing some popcorn and pretending you’re on a date. You can actually talk and forget, for just a few hours, your work load, mortgage loan, visa installment, school fees, the maid who did not show up yesterday and how the house looks like now.
My husband and I dated for about two years before we got married. He owns his own business, I support him and work with him, and I still have a job. He appreciates that and brags about how he’s married to Superwoman to everyone! That sense of appreciation is the battery that keeps me going; a relationship goal that cannot be replaced by any other.
We, of course, have our share of fights. He takes time to do things, while I am a multitasker and a quick decision maker. He takes about a million years to get dressed – although he is bald – and I take about 3 minutes to be in the car! He has to go out with his friends every single Thursday – like a damned holy pact he can’t break – and sometimes we disagree on how we want to raise our kids. All these things can make me really mad, and sometimes I boil with anger!
I am a sarcastic person. I make jokes most of the time and it is my defense mechanism. I love shopping and meaningless money spending. I forget my things everywhere, and that drives him crazy.
“He brags about how he is married to super woman to everyone! That sense of appreciation is the battery that keeps me going; a relationship goal that cannot be replaced by any other.”
Nevertheless, we have come to the conclusion that we compliment each other. That this is what makes us special together. That instead of letting these things get to us and trying to change each other, we work on not holding grudges against each other and on ignoring the things that make us mad. Instead, we focus on why we got married in the first place! To me; no shoe tying, garden-sitter, hand holding relationship goal can come even close to that.
Remind each other of how much you love each other every single night. Say it out loud! Always remember that the day you forget to tell your partner how much you love him/her, is the day they will forget how much you do!
No relationship goal is greater than having a partner that is your best friend, your go-to person even when you are mad at each other. So don’t be fooled by the Photoshopped image of love.