Four months ago, when I had my first baby, my boss, who has 2 daughters, gave me the strangest piece of advice ever, “don’t hang out with mothers a lot”. It was weird then to me, why shouldn’t I? They will understand me better. With mothers, I won’t face what I usually face with my single friends who insist on hanging out in a Shisha café. However, after four months, I must admit that she was right. Behind the understanding and common interests there is also judging, comparisons, and negative energy. After four months I learned to avoid the following seven types of mothers.
- The Judgmental Mother
This is the most difficult type. This mother always plays on your guilt, which is already alert when it comes to your kids. If she is a breastfeeding mother, to her, using formula is like giving weed to your baby. If she is a stay at home mother, you are careless because you go to work leaving your kid at the nursery or with a nanny.
- The Mother of the “Miracle Child”
This mother got lucky and had a super kid who walked and talked early, and you were unlucky enough to have her in your life. She will be astonished that your baby hasn’t uttered his first words yet, while her super kid used to say complete sentences before reaching two.
- The “You’ve seen nothing yet” Mother
This is the last thing you want to hear when you are at the beginning of your maternity experience. You are already overwhelmed, so what you need is support. However, this mother makes it sound like motherhood is hell and kids are the demons. Ironically, this is the same mother who always encourages you to have the second baby quickly!
- The Old School Mother
Once you give birth, you will be bombarded by hundreds of tips from this mother who is not necessarily old. All her tips are ancient heritage. If you think she is harmless because you don’t have to listen to her, you are mistaken. You are obligated to listen to her whether she right or wrong. You are committing a sin if you said “my pediatrician told me the opposite”.
- The Mary Monib Style Mother
Remember Mary Monib’s famous scene of her examining her son’s prospect bride? This type of mother deals with your baby the same way. They break you, then your baby with their harsh comments about how she looks. “How come she’s such a brunette?” “Her hair is too curly.” Sometimes she is willing to give you hope by saying “Next time improve it” Can you believe it? Improve what? Did I burn a chocolate cake in the oven?
- The Dumb Questions Mother
You won’t hate this mother. On the contrary, you will pity her because no normal person asks “is your baby a boy or a girl?” when she’s wearing earrings and pink leggings. Her questions are not just dumb, but also pointless; “Why do you want to call your baby that name?” And why the sky is blue? I don’t think any mother has time to answer such questions.
- The Childless Mother
Let us confess that most of us were once this type because we are all great mothers when we have no kids. Of course, the real experience of having kids is entirely different. When the time comes to raise a kid, you will be doing this on very little sleep, with hormonal disturbance, and with a creature that never stops crying or nagging.
The aim of this article is not to prove that all other mothers are unbearable, because this is unfair. You will find supportive mothers who will encourage you to do it your own way even it’s different from theirs. In a society like ours, you can’t do a single thing without being either judged, asked nosy questions, being compared, given lectures of tips, or shot with negative energy. It’s dramatically different when it comes to motherhood, because it’s very hard to withstand the influence of others in shaping your child’s life and your experience together. No person has the right and you have every right to stop this. In case you didn’t hear it today, you are a good mother!