We know that life isn’t perfect. We’ve made our peace with that. And there are nuisances that we can’t avoid. Ordering food is one of them. This happens almost every single day, because we’re human too and we need to eat. And every time it does, there is a battle in the office over who will make the order. Nobody wants to do it! And do you know why? Because making an order is a lot harder than it seems! Before you start making any blonde jokes just listen to the following stories.
Incomprehensibly nervous cashier
This is what happened word-for-word.
Me: Hello, can I make an order please?
Him: What?! Order? -awkward pause- okay one moment.
It took a lot of self-restraint not to laugh like a maniac for the rest of the call. Seriously, the poor guy sounded flustered! We just asked for some Chinese, not money in exchange of his kidnapped family.
A Case of the giggles
We call to order breakfast and this lovely young lady picks up. First we thought she might be choking and were concerned. Then we realized what it is we’re dealing with. A case of the giggles! You know how sometimes we start giggling at serious situations and can’t stop? She had that. Out of experience, we know it’s uncontrollable, so we pretended like we didn’t notice. But we did, and we hope she never gets it during a funeral because that can’t end well.
And your name is?
Okay, this one might make us sound mean, but it’s all true. We know that taking names over the phone might be confusing to some. However, phone networks have advanced and you should be able to make out a name without giving the caller a hard time. You don’t want to ever do this to your next customer.
Reem: the order will be in my name, Reem. –pause- No, Reem…. Reem! No, I said Reem. REEM! NOT KAREEM!
Reem: My name is Reem. No, Reem. No, my name isn’t Islam, it’s Reem!
Seriously, go for a girl’s name, at least. That’s just rude!
The cashier that really, really wants to give you chocolate cake
We’ve all had to deal with this before, right? It can’t be just us. You call to make an order and you get bombarded with “have you heard about our new items?” You struggle not to yell, demanding food and not the new items. And after successfully making your order they decide to ask you one more time “te7eby adeef lel order chocolate cake laziza?” No. Just, no. We’ve said no before. We will say no again. We know the chocolate cake has got to be “laziza” so you don’t have to remind us.
The order that takes so long, you forget it was ever made
We’re women, and we work pretty hard. So when we’re hungry, we’re really hungry. And when we make an order, we’d like to have our food before it gets to the point where we consider cannibalism. Alas, this is not how the real world works. Plenty of times we had to call, complaining that our food didn’t arrive even though we ordered over an hour and a half ago.
When the order makes it, it’s all wrong
And you’re so hungry that you just take it. You’ll get plenty of excuses like “you sure you didn’t order this?”, “we’re pretty sure you ordered this”, “we just forgot, sorry” or the infamous, “yeah, that’s on the website, not in the restaurant” whatever that means. At this point, you’ve gone through enough to ruin your appetite. Your body’s physical need for food overpowers you, though. So you suck it up and eat it. Once it’s in your tummy, everything is better and you contemplate ordering dessert. What was that about chocolate cake?