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He’s weird about money, and has this “attitude” that enforces that you are not entitled to a pound of his. It’s one thing being a gold digger, but no matter how un-materialistic you are, you would never like to go out with a cheap man.
It has little to do with the money itself, as much as it is about what the money represents; expression of affection. The way a man chooses to spend his money says a lot about how generous and giving he is with his feelings. For most women, cheap with money means selfish with feelings. People work hard for their money and they will only spend it if they want to. Because we only have a certain amount of money we can spend freely, we spend it on the things we value. If he’s not spending it on you, my guess is he doesn’t value you and/or your relationship and he doesn’t want to invest in you as a couple at all. It can only mean that he thinks about money more than he cares about the dreams he can make come true. One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone to take care of, give gifts to, and be generous with.
Of course, numerous factors take part in the way in which your man spends his money and you should not automatically jump to the conclusion that he is cheap. If he cannot afford to take you to a fancy restaurant, or if he has to save up to buy a house, some allowances should be made. Also, the matter is highly relative to the length of the period you’ve been together and the number of dates you’ve been on. Culture and society norms will also influence the way in which he views and spends money. Europeans and Americans’ spending attitudes differ from Mediterranean’s and Arabs’. If he grew in a household where parents saved and never wasted a thing that would be another thing to account for.
The 6 signs he’s got his purse strings nice and tight:
Sign 1:Dinner is on you baby!
He lets you pay for dinner, wants to go Dutch, or simply hesitates when the waiter hands him the bill before he reaches out for his wallet – that is if he doesn’t pretend he had left it at home! Well, this one is no rocket science. Paying for dinner, drinks, or whatever you are having on an official date is a man’s thing and will remain to be. A real man looks forward to taking care of the people he cares about and is, in fact, motivated by the desire to do so. When you get closer, you should chip in every once in a while to show your appreciation. However, he should not expect you to do so.
Sign 2: Your gardener has got a better wardrobe
He has been wearing the same shirt over and over again, his underwear’s got a noticeable rip, and his socks look like they have been chewed on by a Mastiff? You might want to suspect something is wrong here. Again, it is one thing to be dating a man who can’t afford to buy designer clothes, but skimping on decent clothing and going out in rags is a whole different thing. If he has a well paid job and has no financial problems, he’s got no excuse to be dressed like a homeless person.
Sign 3: The ATM Syndrome
He’s borrowing money every other time you’re out, and he leaves you wondering why he had left the house with only 35 pounds in his pockets. Well, it’s pretty clear isn’t it? When you start counting the number of times he says “oh I’m going to need to stop at an ATM before we go” hoping that you would say “oh, don’t worry about it, I got it this time” or “we’re already late, let me get this one and you can get the drinks later” then you know what it means.
Sign 4: Here’s your birthday hug! And that’s all you are getting!
Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries, Christmas and other occasions are great opportunities to express love, care, attraction or whatever you have got going on. For your birthday, your man should jump at the chance to let you know how special you are by going out of his way to do something wonderful for you.
Yes, it’s the thought that counts and again it’s all relative, but if he gives you a shirt he bought at a flee market, a 50 pounds false necklace or a teddy bear for your anniversary, it’s not cool. Presents are not about the material value, of course. However you should expect something that says, I take you seriously, I want to impress you, and I want to make you happy. If he never buys a gift nor takes you out on a big day, it means he doesn’t care enough to “invest” in your relationship. If he picks a fight before every occasion, that’s also something to look out for.
Sign 5: He calculates his every pound
Saving for a rainy day is great, being stingy about McDonald’s is ridiculous. If he takes a sandwich and an apple to work EVERY day to avoid spending money in the local lunch spot, takes the subway to save up the cab fare, advises you not to go that concert because it would cost you, and asks for his 10 pounds back when he buys you a pack of cigs, then yes you should be concerned. If he puts his bottom line above all else, he will probably put it above you too. If it feels like it hurts him to let go of every pound, and that his whole world evolves around gathering money, then he is the stingy type. And being aggravated to death about every small purchase certainly does not make anyone cared for.
Sign 6: He drops you signs that you shouldn’t expect more
He prepares you for the big one by bringing up the money topic. How? He will find a way to comment on how certain things are too expensive. “That restaurant? it’s way overpriced. I would never go there in a million years!”. Another statement he could throw in your face is “I had to lend my sister some money, looks like I’ll be broke till the next paycheck”. To me, this one is the easiest kind because he is actually giving you a heads up, and he might as well tell you straight up “Hey, I am cheap as the day is long”. If he earns three times what you do and still grunts about his financial situation, it could only mean one of two things; either he’s cheap or he’s being extorted by a secret ex-wife. Certainly, if you have been together for a while and he has been perfectly generous, then it’s a different issue. We all have our financial ups and downs, so if he’s having a bit of a dry spell you should definitely show some support instead of complaining that he hasn’t taken you out for two weeks.
No, he won’t change!
If you think his cheapness is not a show stopper for you, think again in light of how you view this relationship in the future. If you want to be married to a kind and care-taking man, then this is probably not the right thing for you. People do not change; you’ve learned that a long time ago. The cheapness doesn’t go away even when you make a million pounds a year. Even if he has a lot of positives and this is something you can look past and live with, you would rather be single than dating a cheap man. Cheapness is a big deal and money is the number one thing couples fight about. So if you don’t want to fight it every single day of your life, move away.
Find the balance
By no means should you take advantage of your man financially, take him for granted, and expect him to spend exorbitant amounts of his hard earned cash on you. If you adopt the “I’m entitled to your money” attitude and expect him to always buy you nice and expensive things, it won’t be fair to him either. You need to strike a balance between what you are giving and what you getting in this relationship. Pick up a tab every once in a while, buy some groceries for his house, or get him something nice for no reason. Cook him a nice dinner on a week night. It is important to initiate the gesture to reciprocate for him to feel that he is valued too and that he is appreciated for the things that he does to make you happy. Ultimately, a relationship between a man and a woman is based on mutual understanding, respect, and genuine care. And the world’s largest fortunes could not substitute for a man’s kindness, love and virtue.