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The common perception of parenthood is that parents spend their lives teaching their kids about right and wrong, the meaning of life, having a goal or being happy and successful. Well, ironically, it’s the other way around sometimes. Those little bundles of joy provoke tremendous changes in some parents that one day you find that you have changed, maybe more than you thought you could. Kids are very impressionable, they could easily mold into good or bad, so in order to guide them through life, sometimes we have to guide ourselves first.
Here are some examples of women changing for better after having their kids.
S. R. recently divorced, is an interior decorator and a mother of two beautiful girls says: Having kids made me realize how precious life is, so instead of wasting my day being grumpy, sad or groaning about how my life turned out to be, I vowed to do something about it. I didn’t want my kids to see me down or looking like a loser, I wanted to give them a positive example, so gradually, I let go of the pessimistic side of me, it started when my daughters saw me everyday sad and in tears. I was so down after my divorce, I looked like an impersonation of the Egyptian movie star Amina Rezk. I realized then that I could earn the title" the world’s best depressed mom" easily, I didn’t want them to tell their kids one day that mom was great except we never saw her happy, it was then that it dawned on me that I had to throw that dramatic person away and go for a Miss Congeniality instead, after all, if there was something wrong in my life, it wasn’t their fault anyway. I was also afraid I’d pass the "if it didn’t work out I want to roll away and die" motto to my kids.
Gehan, math teacher and mother of Lojain and Janna says: I used to be so moody, lazy all summer, not wanting much responsibility. I had a vision of how I wanted my life to be like, but I never thought that having my two kids would shape up that vision. You expect that the mere existence of kids in a woman’s life would deprive her of sleep or free time, or even of a career, on the contrary, my kids taught me to be very organized in order to have time to accomplish more in my work and attend to their needs. My kids taught me that I have to focus on what I’m doing right now instead of taking all day doing a one hour errand, they taught me about quality time without noticing that they are teaching me as well as I’m teaching them.
Rasha, a house wife and mother of Ahmad and Farida says: Having kids is the most enjoyable experience ever, it sure has changed my life, I used to be very disorganized, I woke up very late and never did anything in the house to help mom or my sisters, until I had my kids, I realized that I couldn’t order them to keep their rooms clean, do their homework or have limited TV time if I m not a living example of tidiness and punctuality. I thought if I do it; it would be easier for them to follow. It worked and I’m proud of the change.
Mayada, IT manager, mother of Nadine says: Having Nadine in my life just gave me the desire to be healthy and to take care of my self, she made me love life itself. I want to stay fit for her and to do my best in all aspects of life for her. Kids look up at their parents, and they should be looking up with pride.
Nayra, an English translator and mother of Nour and Ziad says: I was not happy with my job, I wanted to quit but couldn’t because of so many installments and no time to hunt for another job. I used to be so grumpy when I returned home everyday, bark and yell at my kids as if it was their fault I had to work. Until one day I heard my 7 year old son telling his friend that he is lucky that his mom is not working, so I decided that day that if I was miserable with my work that my kids shouldn’t suffer. I had to find a solution, I applied for a one year diploma, did some thorough looking for what the job market demanded in my field and although I didn’t change my job yet, at least I got a title change and a raise and also I had my mind off the day-to-day frustrations in my work. It wasn’t a miracle, but it was a wake up call to stop the negative messages I am passing along to my kids, and I realized also that my job was not that bad, I just let the trivial stuff get to me.
Shaheera, works in Export, mother of Mohamed and Mariam says: I want my kids to see me as a role model. I want them to lead happy family lives and have successful careers too. So, I have to teach them how to balance everything, not in words but by seeing me doing this. It is hard with a 9-5 job, but I think that I am progressing in my change towards the balance I’m seeking. It is very satisfying to think that I am playing a positive role in my kids’ lives, not just a passer by.
I, personally, want my kids to have everything, after all, they are an extension of me, they are my future and all my hopes for something better stems from wanting a better tomorrow for them, every hope; be it world peace, better wages or cleaner air, be it my next promotion, my dream of going to a Safari in Kenya or even my next trip to the mall. I have them constantly in my mind and my dreams revolve around them in a healthy way I hope, my dream is to be good for them to bring them up strong, stable and compassionate. It’s by instinct that we always want our kids to be better than we are, and it is only through hard work that we can deliver this message to them, not by hollow words or out-of-the-book- rules, but by presenting a true and clear example.
Some people spend half their lives getting instructions from their parents to do this or stop doing that until one day they find that those little cute kids were more powerful in encouraging them to change, more than a professional mentor, a loving parent or a harsh teacher.